What's the funniest thing your teacher(s) has/have said?

Still funny to me :)

 

This one is pretty lengthy:

So there was this one Scoobert Doobert in my class (I don't want to call him an offensive name because there is a slight chance that he might read this) who is notorious for losing his pencils, chewing on them, and sometimes actually eating them. One day, he lost his pencil (it turned out he was sitting on it), and he asked my English teacher for an extra pencil and my English teacher said this. "Scoobert Doobert, did you eat your pencil or something?" (which was clearly a joke). And the whole class including me broke out in laughter because Scoobert Doobert actually had to defend himself saying that he actually didn't eat the pencil because he was known to do that.

 

" Shut up Joseph, for you are not clever, and you are not smart.".


....
Pwned.