Why i hate my family.

I just wanna say a couple things before i start ranting: My family is in no way against Religion, sexual preference or anything like that. My family is actually so accepting of all walks of life, but they also happen to be complete morons and do not seem to understand other peoples feelings. Apart from my sister. -PIC is at the bottom f post-

So onto the rant.

REASON 1. My family seems to not understand me AT ALL!

What i mean by this is that my family accept me for being me but still say things that hurt me and then dont even apologies. To explain what exactly i mean i have to tel you a little about me. Im a very very shy and timid person, i cannot handle social situations, arguments or confrontation. Im also gay and a femmy (fem-boy, if you're confused on what that is i posted a picture as a 'spoiler' because even though imo the picture is completely sfw people sexualize me anyway. i have no wishes to be a girl or anything i simple find it cute to do )

About 2 weeks ago my mom basically forced me to have my hair cut ( it was about jaw lenth and i had it as a pixie kinda style with one side tucked behind my ear and a cute flower or something to keep it in place . Youre probably wondering, how did she 'force' me to have it cut.
Basically i have a hairdress who drives around 5-7 miles to come to my house bc my social anxiety makes it to hard for me to go to a public one. She called the hairdresser without telling me, and wakes me up outta bed 15 b4 shes arrives... What am i suppose to do.. I CANNOT tell someone to go back after she has: Booked a time for me when she couldve had someone else, travled a decent way on public transport and i simply cant bc my social fear!

I sat in the tub feeling disgusting, i looked like a god dam solider or something. i cried for hours. I told my mom it made me so upset and she didn't even seem to care.


My mom knows who i am and still treats me like something im not, she will tell me about girls like i give a f*** and will but my manly clothes.. ( dont get me wrong ill pretty much wear any, hoodie, onesie, or a nice big baggy socker jersey or something, but not ugly jeans and stuff like that ) i honestly feel like she does it to make me feel bad.


Reason 2

MY WHOLE FAMILY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF ME!

Now this one i am completely sick of. My family will steal my money, equipment and even my food goodies!
Today my mom used my card and spent $120 of MY MONEY i made from commissions!.. this broke my heart bc i was about to order a very cute drawing for $25 and spend the rest on some cute clothes and now i cannot.. They know i cannot confront them bc my anxiety so they simple get away with it. IM SICK OF IT! Last month i loaned my mom £30 and my brother £10 and they havnt and wont pay me back...

Also to add to this, when ever they go on holiday, daytrip or shopping they do not tell me, they purposely leave me out each time. They spend more on our dog then me. They just say ''oh you wouldnt have liked anyway''... Im sorry how tf would you know??? and then why not try and do something i like? oh right bc you dont care about what i like.

sorry about ranting but im fed up of being treated like im not here. I dont have the courage to confront them ( even tough my parents are extremely open minded and easy to talk to ) i simply cant. I feel guilty for asking for MY money back!!!!.. they take advantage of my anxiety and depression and im sick of it.

Spoiler: pic

 

I think you should stop giving them money to borrow if they won't pay you back what they owe. Sorry that this is happening but your mom probably only wants the best for you. If you didn't feel like getting a haircut you should've told her not to get you one. I know it's hard for you to confront them but she's your mom. If you have trouble confronting them in person then do it over a text message? I'm sure she only wants what's best for you. Also, they probably don't realize they're taking advantage of you.

 

I can't believe how much you're going through. This makes my mom look tame. Sorry you have to deal with all this, I wish I could help. It sucks that they "borrow" money and not repay you. You've got the whole IJAH community if you need someone to talk to!

 

I will probably never know what it feels like to be in your situation. Just know that...it will get better. Stay strong and stay positive.

 

I don't think your parents are doing anything wrong other than taking your money without your permission. Instead of focusing on hating your family, you should think about the path you're willing to take in your life. You're going to have to deal with your social anxiety in some way, whether it would be therapy, finding a community you feel comfortable with in life or just dealing with it on your own.

As a human, you're a social creature, and you must be able to socialize to continue with life - to get a job, to have a family, to explore the world and more. It sounds like your parents are slightly pushing you to take a different path and do something about your problem, and if you're actually 17, it might be the right thing to do as parents.

 

Hey! I am also really shy but sometimes you just have to open your mouth! Thats the right way to do stuff! But remember to not cross the line and they are your family, Good luck bud.

 

There are moments in everyones lives when they have to overcome a barrier restricting them you dont seem to have to big of a problem aside from the stealing money part, the only real suggestion I can say to this is stand up for yourself, "Stop letting people walk all over you, you are not a sidewalk". Being shy and having social anxiety is problematic for people who have it but dont let it restrict you from living your life they you want it to because right now it has control over you where as you should have control over it.

 

Express your feelings to them, on how they treat you and how you feel about it. You should try atleast ask them if there's any family bonding so you can go with them. I know that you're going through is hard, but treat them nicely still, family is family. Express your feelings to them so they know about it and they won't act bad at you. They might be like doing it as a challenge for you because to make you ready as an adult. Make a way to spend time with them and to treat you nicely again.
Don't be angry at them because some time in life they'll be gone. Enjoy being with them! They treat you badly for a reason so you must talk to them about it. Don't be angry at them always :)