Why Fairy Tales Are Seriously Messed Up, Part 3

It's happening again.

Once upon a time, Disney never existed. This left everyone with the dark, creepy, childhood-ruining original versions of most fairy tales. The people enjoyed these dark versions, and were perfectly fine with Cinderella's sisters cutting themselves, the little mermaid dying, sleeping beauty being raped in her sleep, etc. For more on these, look at these threads: http://www.itsjerryandharry.com/threads/why-fairy-tales-are-seriously-messed-up.11295/ (first one) http://www.itsjerryandharry.com/threads/why-fairy-tales-are-seriously-messed-up-part-two.30199/ (second one)

I myself am a fairy tale princess, yet I'm still a bit scarred by these.

The Juniper Tree, by the Brothers Grimm
Oh Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, you must've experienced an awful childhood. Otherwise this story wouldn't exist. It's about a nameless boy and girl, and their father remarries a total bitch(it is a fairy tale after all). This bitch is, well, a bitch. She offers the little boy and apple from a chest of apples, but slams the lid on his neck as he leans in, thus decapitating him. She then realizes that, even back then, murder isn't okay. So she ties his head back to his neck with a cloth and gives him an apple to hold. The little girl asks her brother to share it with her, but when he doesn't respond, she is told by the stepmother to slap him. Then his head falls off. She tells her that the body must be hidden, so they start stripping the meat off of his bones and put it in a pot. The little girl buries his bones under a juniper tree, and out of nowhere, a bird starts singing to her. The stew is ready and the girl's father finds his son delicious. Meanwhile, the bird goes to the village people singing in exchange for different things: first a gold chain, then a pair of red shoes, and then a huge millstone. He returns to the house and sings once more. The father goes out and gets the chain, the girl goes and gets the shoes, and the bitch stepmother gets....the millstone dropped on her head. From the resulting dust, the little boy reappears. Just...wow.

The Red Shoes, by H.C. Andersen
This is the story of a peasant girl named Karen. She is adopted by a rich lady, and grows up vain and slutty. One day, she decides to ask for a pair of red shoes fit for a princess(like myself), and she gets them. She starts wearing them to church every Sunday, but something strange happens: they start moving. Like, on their own, with Karen's feet in them. She can't stop dancing until she takes them off, but one day they just won't come off. She dances through deserts, up mountains, even in Shrek's swamp. Karen meets an angel who tells her that even when she dies, she'll still dance forever due to her vanity. Karen, out of options, asks an executioner to cut off her feet. Back then, there was no anesthesia, so it hurt a lot. It was worth it to Karen, but then her severed feet block her entrance into the church. She decides to go home and sulk about it, but then the angel comes back and sprays her with rose perfume or something, and she's so filled with random happiness and glee that her heart explodes. Then, in the afterlife, nobody mentions her shoes. Karen was finally at peace with her vain self.

The Little Match Girl, by H.C. Andersen
Hans Christian Andersen obviously hated happiness. God knows why. A little girl is forced by her abusive father to sell matches out in the street on New Year's Eve, and if she doesn't sell enough she gets a beating. I'd make a sweatshop joke, but I don't feel like it. She starts to get hypothermia, and lights the matches to stay warm. As she does this, she sees little visions in the light. One of them is her grandmother, the only person who ever liked her. She lights more matches to keep this vision alive, until she runs out and freezes to death. Yep. She freezes to death. Happy New Year...?

The Steadfast Tin Soldier, by H.C. Andersen
God damn it! Why do you hate goodness!? Anyways, a little boy gets 25 tin soldiers for his birthday, but one of them has only one leg. They all get lined up on a shelf, and the one egged soldier sees a little paper ballerina. She is also only standing on one leg, and entrances the soldier. Then, a jack in the box tells him to stay away from her, and pushes him off the windowsill. Bastard. The soldier gets put in a paper boat and sails through the gutters, at one point having to pay a toll to a rat. He sails on and gets eaten by a fish. The fish is caught, cut open, and the semi-digested soldier emerges covered in gross fish guts. He returns home, and is thrown in the fireplace with the ballerina for LITERALLY NO REASON. The ballerina burns to ash in seconds, and the soldier*sniff*melts into a h-h-heart*sobbing*. DAMN YOU H.C. ANDERSEN!

So yeah. That happened.

 

I like these better tbh.

 

I find it ironic that those are the creepypasta of the past