[urgent] hi i need help please

i'm sure some of you don't care or think i should go somewhere else for help, but i have no where else to go for help. So, I've been planning this for a while now. I want to come out to my grandparents, my grandfather isn't really the most accepting of people. I'm not sure about my grandma, she doesn't really understand the concept of the gender and sexuality thing. i'm ftm transgender, gay and panromantic. i am going to see Rodger harvy, and frnkiero andthe cellabration and I'm meeting with frank after the show. I asked my grandmother to film me meeting with him for no apparent reason(well there is a reason) as i am talking to frank, i'm going to come out to her. I'm not sure how she'll take it and I am very worried and scared. I'm going to come out as Joshua, which is the name at the moment I feel comfortable going by. I may change my name, and experiment with it. and if you guys could call me. he and they pronouns are okay with me. i also want to come out to my entire family, and i'm super scared. I don't know how they're gonna take it and how I am gonna do it. I'm tired of living the way I am living and I want to do it. i need advice, support, help. idk what i need. please don't get super technical, rude, etc. My brother, sister, grandfather, and mother are going to be at the hotel (lucky i have my own room with a girl i know), so I don't know how my grandma is going to keep it in. She'll prolly tell my other family members, i don't know. my anxiety is at a new high, and I feel like I'm gonna fuck it up.
Im going on tuesday december 1st, I should've made this thread earlier. I was just nervous on how you guys would react. this is urgent so please, try and respond quickly.

 

Probs best to reply here.

After reading, wow. And I thought my stress was high. Yeah my problems were big but not as big as yours. Well, it shouldn't matter what you say to them, your family should always love you. I had the exact same thing, I was afraid to confess to my parents my beliefs. My dad hates Muslims, so you can imagine converting to Islam had to be a secret for me. I still haven't told him that I was a Muslim, but you and I experience the same problems, coming out of the blue is a good thing. I'm afraid to tell my father of my religion but I guess it's better for the both of us if we both knew the truth. If your parents/loved ones disown/despise you for your opinions, they're not true parents. I have a feeling I will be having a long talk with my father should I confess to him my Islamic beliefs. You can imagine how I feel when he screams about terrorist attacks performed by Muslims, insulting them and calling them monsters, yet he doesn't know I'm one of them.

Best wishes from:

-ARandomFilipino

 

Plainly put, if your family actually loves you, they would, not would, will, accept you no matter what. If they don't, they don't deserve to call you a friend, nonetheless a family member.

 

As long as you continue to accept grandma's great cooking no matter how full you are and the money your grandparents give you, I'm sure they'll be fine with it.

 

from my knowledge of their views, i know they're not very accepting on LGBTQA+ people and issues. i have money saved up incase they disown me or anything of that matter.

 

you could come live with me c:

Canada Life!

 

i don't really know how to get out this country as a trans person, my birthname and assigned sex is one my certificate and i feel really Dysphoric using both of those. I don't have anyone to go with, and i'd rather be homeless than be with unaccepting people or people i don't like. And changing my name isn't as easy as people think, it's a long process. i'm also not over 18, so that's an issue. i'm a big person on doubting, i doubt a lot of things. i don't know if my family will always love me.

 

If they don't accept you, then don't listen. It doesn't matter what they think. Be you and live how you want to. Tell your family. It isn't easy. If they love you they'll support you. Don't think of the mistake that can happen. Think of the good. I believe in you.
Your family probably will have to get use to the situation but in the long run it'll be worth it.

 

I think you should do it. You will feel so much better after coming out.

 

well, i have to listen. they're the caretakers of me i guess, they own my car, provide for me, etc. they have the rights to kick me out, if they kick me out or anything i just have to live with it. it's their house so idk. the thing is i don't want to hurt any of them or do anything that'll severely affect them.

 

I understand that. It will take time for them to understand the differences. Don't be afraid. If they kick you out then whatever! They don't deserve a person like you. Regardless you deserve to live a life worth living. There's always ups and downs. If they put you down then just get right back up. Don't be afraid to show your true colors. I'm glad you're coming out. If you need anymore support you know where to contact me.

 

i mean if they kick me out, where do i have to go

 

you could live with me. I'm too far from where you are :P if not then a hotel? Somewhere.

 

I don't know if i feel comfortable living with someone i met over the internet. hotels are a lot of money, depending on the hotel. there's no hotel of any walking distince that i could stay in. and I'm saving my money for other things like food, my career, etc.

 

Do it. You know yourself better than anyone else. :]

 

Any friends?

 

nope

 

I haven't come out to my family either, actually.
They're religious, they'll obviously be angry and probably ground me for life but I know they love me and they'd never 'disown' me.

But, Joshua..
If you think that your family is going to disown you (which I highly doubt.), then you should be careful with the details you're gonna be telling them.

But.. take your time and think about it. My family doesn't know I'm bi and I'm still happy because I know they care about me, and I'm pretty sure its going to be the same for you.

But if you're confident, then go ahead and tell them everything.
Because in the end, What's wrong with being confident?!

 

Well you don't know yet if they'll kick you out. If that happens then go to your mom or dad.

 

I am confident, i keep things locked up inside for long periods of time and i don't tell a soul- i hate that. my family is hella religous and stuff aswell, especially my grandfather. Whenever you feel comfortable coming out, i wish you the best of luck with it.

my parents don't live together, and they're both like my grandparents.