Story: Luna Written By: Me (Rewritten)

I wake up, dizzily stumbling around. I have no memory of what has happened, but I know it can’t be good. After a little bit of staying still, get over the dizzy spell. I scan the area and I see I’m in a small room. I try to talk or just to scream, but my throat is hoarse and nothing comes out. I try get up off the floor, but fall. I try again, stumbling, almost mid-fall. I am unbalanced and dizzy. I manage to stay up and start walking forward. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling like I have to go there. I don’t know where “there” is, but it’s a place of great importance to me, somehow. I suddenly see a doo. Bolted shut. I ram into it, once... twice... BAM!!! I went right through the door, still keeping up my speed. I fall down, my klutzy self. I stay on the floor, scanning the room, and see a window. I go up to the lonely window, all by itself. I don’t know why, but this new place looks familiar. It’s a town… but it looks abandoned. A thick layer of reddish-pink fog covers all the town and around it. All I see is the sun, and it almost looks red, like a dark blood color through all of the fog. That’s until people come out of the gray and black houses. They stare, nervously. The town is small, for I could see all of it just looking out the window. I start wondering, Is this real life, or a dream, and why is this window positioned so perfectly?



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Chapter 1​

It seems after a few minutes of walking, with all the strength I have, I am out of the town. It’s dark. The sun, somehow, disappeared when I walked out of town. It’s all the darkness of night. The coolness makes me smile. I have a memory. A night. I was sitting alone in the night watching the moon. Then it spoke to me. It told me, that I was the one to come to reign. I didn’t understand the memory at all. I had been laying down staring at the moon. What did it mean? That’s when I am grabbed.

Then a man says, “ Who are you?”

I try to reply. I can’t talk though. My throat is too hoarse. I try to speak again this time I manage to.

“Water.”

He walks forward not once letting go of my arm. As we walk forward he grabs tighter and tighter. I dare not cry either. He hands a bottle of water. I drink all of it.

He asks once again, “Who are you?”

I reply, “ I don’t know.” “I’ll ask once again, who are you?”

“I...don’t...know, you have to believe me.”

“Are you… one of them?”

“What?”

“They are a group of humans with magic inside of them. They are misunderstood though. Many people want them dead. I should know, I am one.”

“Show me.”

I hadn’t even realized I said this, but I did want to see.

He closes his eyes. I see swirls of light and color. The lightshow stops and I see him. He looks different though. He is wearing armor. I slowly drift off to a slow and steady sleep.

Thank you! More to come soon.

 

I am confused. Is this what I am. I wish.

“How did you do that?”

“I am not sure how exactly it works, but all I know is it takes concentration.”

I hear talking. The boy grabs my hand.


He whispers, “Run.”

I listen, running together, I see what we’re running from. Two men dressed in dark-black uniforms, holding guns. Suddenly they disappear. It's not fear of them, but curiosity for them that I have. The only thing keeping me awake is adrenaline. I stand up. Although the man, with mysterious powers, pulled me back down by force.

“I see them.”

“How?” he whispers back very softly and gently.

“I don’t know.”

“A hidden power.”

“I am one.” I kind-of squeal which is embarrassing.

“Shh. Tell me a way to avoid them.”

“I don't know. But... just follow me.”

I turn right. I see that they are turning in our direction. I dodge behind a bush. He starts to say something but I put my hand on his mouth. I point in front of us. I am sure there is a way to transfer some of the magic. I don’t know how though. I only found out about this “power” today. Although even if I tried, it would be too bright. If I had tried, I could get us caught.


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Then, as loudly as they came, they leave.

“They are gone.”

“Thank the Gods”

Gods? What are those? Is it okay to ask? Is he some kind of...

I have so many question running through my mind like who were they and why did they have guns? Instead, I don’t say anything. If I do, I might regret asking a question.

“You don’t remember anything?”

“Yes.” I pause not knowing if I should tell him the memory or not, “Except, when the moon spoke to me… I don’t know how long ago that was but-”

“ Wait, it spoke to you, what did it say?”

“ You will reign. I don’t...exactly know what it means, do you, perhaps, know?”

He looks troubled, maybe I did something wrong, maybe, I should’ve, been quiet.

“Maybe, I have friends though, we can see them.”

“What’s your name?”

“My name is Jaden, but I am normally called Dagger.”

I recall another memory, after he said his name. A boy, confronting me while I was basking in the moon’s light.

He said, ‘I am Jaden, who are you?’

Then, it ends.

Jaden calls my name.

“Jaden.”

I hug him. I don’t know if he will remember me, but he is a memory. He pulls me away.

“Jaden. It’s me Selene.”

How did I suddenly realize my name? Is it really Selene? It’s a beautiful name.

Crying, he says,“They took you away. They told me you were dangerous.”

“They?”

“The Hub. They are the ones that want us dead. They came back, told me you died. I never should have believed them.”

 

Awesome. This will be amazing by the end. Only one suggestion: Add a little more detail in the scene and actions. Other than that, it's very interesting!

 

Nice story

 

Chapter 3

I must have fallen asleep at one point because I am rudely woken up by the sound of footsteps. Jaden must have been keeping guard.Suddenly, I hear, in a snickering voice, “Look, Dagger’s found a lover.”

With a disgusted look on his face, he says, “ You know the “Girl in the Moon” I told you about, well this is her.”

I look up now, I see there is two teenage-looking boys.

“Dagger, you said she was dead.”

“The Hub lied. They probably had her running tests. She has amnesia, can’t remember a lot.”

A man comes running up looking a bit angry. He has a scar down the side of his face.

“Dagger you could’ve just put us in a lot of danger…You! I risked my life for you! I almost died,”he looks at me angrily, “you… could’ve died.”

Why is everyone mad at me? Who is he?

“I am sorry, sir, I can’t remember you, or in matter-of-fact anyone.”

“Wait, Dagger…please don’t tell me.”

He looks at my neck, clawing furiously, grabbing something. After he’s done grabbing at that “something” I get an electrifying pain, I feel my neck there is a bloody mess. I almost cry at the feeling.

“Dagger, what were you thinking! They have our location, you are lucky they haven’t gotten you yet.”

“Sorry, I…”

“ It doesn’t matter now, we just have to move out of this area.”

“Yeah,” one of the boys ask, “I am hungry and I am sure Angel has our food ready.”

I finally speak up, “ Okay, who are you all!”

“ Oh, I was so rude,” says Dagger, “let me introduce them. Those two boys over there, Tomas and Kaden.”

They both smile, waving. I believe they see the confused look on my face while I was trying to determine which is which.

“Tomas.”

“Kaden.”

We start to walk forward. I start to wonder where we are going and how many more there are.

“Sir, could you tell me your name, I mean, I know, Jaden,Tomas, and Kaden, but who are you?”

“Just call me Scar.”

For the first time, I’ve seen, he smiles. That smile it’s familiar. I know him, his name isn’t Scar, it’s Sam.

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Then we reach a stump. Jaden reaches at the stump, a handle, he pulls it up. There is a ladder inside.We file in a line. Jaden pushes me to the front and I, obediently, go in. It smells like dirt, but a faint smell gets to me, food. There is a light blond-ish haired young women, only about 17 or 18 years old. She stares at me.

“This is Selene.” Jaden says.

The girl smiles, and says, “I am Angel, the cook and a light mage.”

“Nice to meet you,” I reply.

I sit down, and Angel pushes me a plate of food. It’s steak and potatoes. I take a bite, very slowly. It tastes delicious. I take another bite, and another. I look up at Angel. I feel like I am being rude. She smiles.

After I finish my plate, she says, “Let me get you some other clothes, I doubt you would like to sleep in those.”

She walks into the other room and I say, directed to Jaden, “She’s nice.” He just gives me a look of almost... ownership? Like she's a pet or something. I know it isn't that way, though. I brush it off. "Come on, Selene," Angel says,"I'll get your room ready, but for tonight, just sleep on the couch, if that's that's okay."

I feel like I have to follow someone around, but I went into a random room. This time, the window was looking straight toward the moon. This is so weird. The Hub... light mage... it all has to do with magic, and only magic. We are the magic users, the ones with abilities far above them, but we're looked down upon... is this how I will live.

 

Good job Happy very good story

 

Chapter 4

I wake up to the sounds of whispers. They are coming from inside the room where I had eaten. I recognise only three of the voices, the others unknown. I walk up slowly being able to see that there are several more people. “Who’s there.”

Oh no, I’ve been spotted. I forgot that probably every one of them has a power, even, maybe, the same power I have.


“Sorry, I went to get a glass of water...and,” I think of an excuse, “ I tripped.”

Dagger smiles, “ Good, we need to talk to you anyway.”

A man, the one who found me says, “ Can you tell us what had happened.”

I recapped my day. The strange memories.

As I sit there, I think. I try to remember other things. I can’t.

What happened? Why can’t I remember these things?”

“ I can tell you. You might get upset though.”

“I need to know.”

“It started last year. The Hub, the place where most of us worked, had started building a robot race.”

Someone laughs. Sam glares over, staring into a younger boy’s eyes.

“ You...were the co-owner, the orphan, who dedicated her life to science.”

“I was, wasn’t I. I was left at a doorstep. At least that’s I was told.”

“Yes, you were on of the most famous scientists ever. You built a lot of the robots that were at The Hub. You built an enormous android, that could control the whole establishment. The android, as you called it, became corrupt with the power. You tried to stop her. You didn’t want to hurt her though. She didn’t want to hurt you either. You were her only friend. You were the only thing in her way to taking over. She locked you up. We were all dumped out here.”

Floods, of memories, come back to me, it’s all just fuzzy though.

“I am quite sorry to all of you, I am really letting you down right now, but I can’t remember most of this.”

Some just stare at me, others scream.

“How could you do this to us.”an unknown voice screams in my head.

I am screaming now. The voice, it’s gets louder and louder, running through my head. Dagger walks up to me hugs me. The hug is warm, loving almost, but it’s not true. Nobody loves me.

I whisper to Dagger, softly, “Why do they hate us?”

He replies in a very stern voice, “We caused this.”

“I did, not you. They all said it was my fault.”

It seems through this, small but meaningful conversation, the world seems to stop. The only people that are living on this planet is Dagger and I.

“You should get some sleep,” Dagger says softly, “take my room, it’s a lot safer.”

He guides me into a hallway, that’s unfamiliar, I haven’t been here before. We reach a room that looks important. I hear clashing inside. I look up at Dagger, and he is rolling his eyes. I open the small, but heavy, door. I see a an animal, a fawn. The silly animal is eating, out of a pet bowl.

“We all took a few animals, after the atomic blast.”

“Pardon.”

“It’s what caused us to get these strange powers.”

“It’s all my fault.”

“It’s,” Dagger says, “all of our faults. There isn’t such of a thing as one fault. It happens to take more than one fault, to cause such a thing. Get some rest.”

“What about you?”

“I will sleep on the floor, for tonight.”

As he says those words, I drift off to sleep.