Reason For Inactivity.

Hey, Everyone.

This is a topic that is said by like, everybody, on the forums.
My reason has its own tweaks and problems.
So I felt like sharing it is the best way to have you all understand.

Recently, pressure, drama, insecurity, self-hatred has attacked me all at once.
The SOLS (could be known as the STAR test, or the Finals) are a test that I cannot fail, especially since I cannot retake the SOL. The SOL I have to do is different from the others since I was given the 'Smartest Person Of The Year' award. I was given a higher grade level SOL than my grade level, and I was already struggling a bit on my normal grade level.
Meanwhile, my ex-friend (I am no longer friends with her) got me in a case which has the police involved. (I did not do anything wrong.) Her brother, sister and possibly her are involved in a case with the police, which I cannot go into detail, not because I cannot, it is because I do not know the details. She also decided (before this) it was a good idea to go out with the person I was crushing on. This hit me pretty hard, and took a toll on my friendship with her. We were struggling, so I broke it off with her. She spreads rumors about me now, and told the entire school I was gay. Little kids walked up to me and asked if I was gay, because their brother told them. Who told their brother? Her.
Insecurity came in when I was told that I can't do anything in my school. I got suspended for somebody throwing a sausage at me. Yet, somebody from the other table did the same thing, and they didn't get suspended. I was always a well-behaved kid, and everybody just saw me as a joke. The school treats me different now, my technology teacher kicked me out of my SLA (Leadership) class because I was moving. When I figured the real reason from my friend, which was the fact that I was 'different'. I was hurt for the next week, but it wared off after the incident with my ex-friend.
Then I became concerned on how I looked, who was I to other people?
I freaked out for the 3rd time in a row on how I look. My friends tell me I look fine, so does my family, but I am no longer sure on that. I always feel ugly, even though a lot of you guys here tell me I am not. I was not really prepared for drama that came with it. I had a breakdown about this topic, and I cried myself to sleep 2 nights in a row.

I also decided I wanted to support the server by building maps for it. But I have decided to take a break from it because I cannot get somebody to help me on it because this map is huge. I have been taking my time, but I can rarely concentrate.

I really don't know if I am just being stupid about this, or if I have a reason to be doing this.
If I am inactive and you need to reach me, please PM me.
My schedule is becoming a bit wonky, but I am planning to get it fixed.

Thank you to those who supported me!
(@CapsaLock)
(@Galaxy)
​

 

Dude, I totally understand your issue with the SOLs. We have 'em here too and they can be really stressful because you never really know what's going to be on them. All I can tell you is to study what your teachers recommend. And if they recommend nothing, don't only study what you learned this year in that class. Go over the curricular from the year before too. When you study, make sure things really stick in your head. Don't do a lot of memorization, make sure you understand things completely.
I'm really sorry with the situation between you and the girl who spread rumors about you. I'm telling you from now though, don't allow her to win you back right away. If she apologizes, you accept the apology. That doesn't mean you make things right. Don't treat her the way she treats you, be more mature and kill her with kindness. If someone does something like that to you, make sure you they are truly sorry for their actions before you let them back in. Giving people more chances makes friendships stronger.
For the case with the police, if you know anything and you get talked to, just be completely honest. Even if you feel like you could get in trouble, be honest because lying will only make things worse. Talk to your parents about this issue and fill them in, they can help you the most right now.
I'm really sorry that your teacher did that to you, it must really suck. If you really feel discriminated, talk to a higher up. Like a counselor, principal. They are obligated to help you with this situation. But before you do that, don't just believe everything you hear from students. People could just be twisting things. Actually, go up to your teacher and kindly ask him/her why you were removed the group. Then you'll know the truth.
The best way to build confidence in yourself is to not care what other people think. I think you look fine, that shouldn't even matter to you. Especially during school. If you see me, you'll probably think what the heck compared to all the students. They dress up and wear fancy clothes while I'm just there everyday in sweatpants and a hoodie. School isn't really a place to dress up and be fancy, it's a place where you get educated for a few hours a day and come back home. People who care that much about how you look, those are the uneducated people because they focus on appearances more than their education. If someone harasses you for something like your appearance, talk to a counselor. I know I've said it a few times now but they really do help. I used to think they didn't, but that's only because I was too scared to open up and be honest with them. They do if you tell them the truth and how you truly feel.
Again, I'm really sorry about your case. Good luck and I hope I helped!