Oh look, another confession.

Hey guys, well I have a bit of explaining to do.
Before I joined the forums, a little over a year ago, I started having this problem bugging at me. It wasn't much of a big deal until recently, but I'll get to that. The problem was identifying my gender. Now, before you all go, "oh! attention-seeking thread here! just time to post lots of hate and start ignoring this person!" please just listen to what I have to say. A lot of you don't understand how hard this was for me, and I don't think you'll ever understand it unless you went through it yourself. I'm a muslim, meaning it's haram to change your gender, or identify as anything else that's not a female/male. This means I couldn't bring this problem up to anyone in my family, because we're all muslims, (especially my mom; she thinks I'm too tomboyish, which is complete bs to me because why should something I do have to be categorized into a gender?) My problem was that sometimes, I didn't like it when people thought/called me a female. I am indeed biologically a female, but sometimes I don't like it when I'm categorized like that; I want to be categorized as a male too. It's at different times, and that's the problem. The reason this was a problem for me was because like I said, people were calling me she when I didn't want to be called a "she". I have some major trust issues when it comes to personal issues that could impact me largely like this, so I didn't tell anyone, especially when I joined the forums. That wasn't the only reason though. When I joined the forums, I noticed that a lot of you would point and say, "oh! attention seeker!!! etc.." at people who tried to confess things. I was debating on whether to tell anyone, or not, and I decided not to. I didn't want people to instantly hate me right away, because I don't like it when I get put down and things like that, so I kept to myself. After awhile, I decided to tell someone, who will remain un-named because I don't point fingers. They took it the completely wrong way, and said I was an attention-seeker, and that this community wasn't for me. They didn't understand what I was trying to explain, no matter what way I explained it, and they just put me down instantly. I then decided to take a break from the community before my secret got out, as this was personal and the person said they would tell everyone.
These past few months have been emotional roller coasters for me because of this problem mainly, but a lot of other personal issues. There came a point in time where I couldn't take it anymore, and I just broke down because of all of this sorting and straight track of crap that I was freaking following because of what people freaking thought of me. I didn't really know who I could trust, so I just came to the person I knew who had experience, and I tried my best to explain, hoping that they would understand too. Thank the freaking gods that they understood, and I got some quick advice on what to do. After thinking for a while, I don't really want to be identified as any gender if it's just going to give me a hard time+crap from others that just pissed me the hell off. I don't care if you think of me as a hypocrite, because I know I have purposely disrespected some of the agenders that I know in the past, still, this is the easiest thing for me+ I don't have to worry about wasting time thinking of something like this.
What I care about is that I know some of you will most probably take this the wrong way, and think differently of me or something, but really all I need is for you to please respect me.
You probably, (like I said,) don't understand how hard this is, especially since I don't think I can ever tell the person who even brought me to this world about this case, but please don't disrespect me for this. It was hard enough to get it out, I don't even care anymore what you people think of me, because I'm just going to have to put with the crap I get anyways, since I keep getting it.
My pronouns are they/them, and if you can't understand/respect that, please don't bother talking to me.

Spoiler: spoiler

maybe this will explain my extremely negative and sensitive behavior recently, especially when it comes to talking about specific people behind their backs.

Thanks.

 

#Respect <3
But seriously, I understand. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a male. I can't control how you feel, and if thats how you feel, its fine.
And I swear I remember someone told me a confession just like this.

 

So you're a gender fluid (once you're a boy, once you're a girl, once neither, once both) according to what to you said. I seriously wouldn't care about religions in your case. Be yourself, do/be what makes you happy and don't let others say negative things about you. Good luck :)

 

In islam, transgender is an extremely complicated matter and takes true knowledge to solve it

And for those who always say "Attention-Seeker!" those are bit*hes, they just think the world revolves around then and they can say whatever they want, luckily this a great community and these people are getting banned by the second

Look safa, it is true that emotions are hard to controll, but sometimes you have to try your best
We all respect you

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I'm not sure Kate. A genderfluid is indeed what you said, but an agender is not identifying to any genders at all. That's what I stood by, but maybe I need to think about this more. Anyways, thank you.

 

You can also be nonbinary, pangender, questioning, demigender etc etc etc (my god I had to search them up because there are so many xd).

 

Islam is HEAVILY serious when it comes to stuff like these, it is like a complete 2 way deadlock, you have to break both in order to break one, see, it's THAT confusing.
And trust me, you do have to care when it comes to any case like this.

 

Honestly, I'm not much of a religious person myself, so I'm going to have to back away from this and say that I won't take notice to religion in this case. I don't want to question things because religion is a whole different story for me, but if all is true, I'd rather do something haram and die in hell then deal with this for now. If god made everything, than he made lgbt+all genders. This is just my religion.

 

And I seriously don't give a damn about religions :D If they want to be a trandgender/genderfluid and whatever I mentioned above then let them do it. No one can stop them from being what they really are. Neither religion nor family nor god damn anyone. I think all religions have to make up their minds because what they makes absolutely no sense, to me. Religions aren't our topic soo yea don't talk to me about it please tysm.

 

Honestly, I'm not much of a religious person myself, so I'm going to have to back away from this and say that I won't take notice to religion in this case. I don't want to question things because religion is a whole different story for me, but if all is true, I'd rather do something haram and die in hell then deal with this for now. If god made everything, than he made lgbt+all genders. This is just my opinion.

 

( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
Gotcha backs fam

 

Good luck Saf =)
I don't discriminate against anyone.
Except idiots. Do idiots count?

 

I approve this message.

 

Good for you Safa. You should be able to be yourself. I respect this thread so much. People also shouldn't treat or judge you any different. If they do, they were never your friend to begin with, so forget them.

 

My friend irl is Muslim and they are going through the exact same thing as you are, and I also got confused with my gender at one point too, so I understand.
It is great that you told us this, a majority of people here are quite understanding, just ignore the people who call you an "Attention Seeker", or treat you differently (in a bad way) because of it, they are not worth your time.
Good luck, Safa.

 

It is good that you told this now. Hopefully this gave you a little bit of relieve. big hug from me.

 

I think as long as you are patient with people it will be fine. Transgender has only really become popular these past few years, so it's a strange concept for people because biologically you are a female so technically you weren't born transgender, this will lead people to think it's a choice you made to be unique or for attention (not saying it is) so make sure they know that's how you really feel don't make a huge fuss if they call you she/her because it's an easy mistake to make.

 

Thank you everyone for the support, it honestly means so much. I didn't expect you all to come across this way.

 

Respect over that. I find it really cool that you said it even though it is hard. Chapeau.

 

Gender-fluid.
This still makes my pronouns they/them.
Thank you all for the support. :)