Lol Projects

So I have this project on a nonfiction book and I'm supposed to make a sales pitch for it. The book happened to be about making friends (the gist of it). So this happened.

Spoiler: What am I doing with my life

Sales Talk Script


Have you ever been lonely? Do you want any friends? Are you interested in books? Do you want to know how to psychologically win people over before you even get to know them? Well, if you answered “Yes” to any of these questions then “The Like Switch” is the nonfiction book for you! This riveting book on human relationships will BLOW YOUR MIND! Not convinced.. see for yourself!

“The Like Switch” was written by an ex-FBI agent. That’s how you know you can trust them. Who wouldn’t trust the best, safest, and most honest government agency around? After all, with all the recent praise from people like Edward Snowden about the state of American government, there’s nothing but good to hear about these groups. After reading the section on how to spot a lie, I’m sure you’ll find them all. If you didn’t know already, the book is written by two people. Two people means twice the amount of trickery … I mean knowledge.

Once you read this book, you’ll be amazed on how well it works. An example is rapport building with your friends that are non-existent which is probably why you picked up this book in the first place. If you have no idea what that is, then you should definitely get the book! Anyways, “The Like Switch” has .99% guaranteed results out of 99% of results! Here are some reviews from real people.


“The Like Switch” helped me make tons of friends, you should get now, it’s like totally awesome.

-Customer #1


I got paid to write this. Please buy the book.

-Customer #2


Along with a tutorial on how to spot lies, there’s also a section about the laws of attraction. It’ll tell you how to send a good vibe without any real communication. Except for the fact that you’re communicating through eye contact, there’s no human interaction needed! People will just be falling all over themselves, begging to be your friend. All it takes to accomplish this is a copy of “The Like Switch.” Trust me on this one. You know this is genuine because we got all of our information from Customer #2.

So what you’re probably thinking is, “If this book really is that great, how much does it cost?”. Well every section is only 12 easy payments of €1349. There are 7 sections! You do the math, 7 sections ⨉ 12 easy payments ⨉ €1349 = €113316! If you call in the next 30 seconds, we’ll double your price! That’s right, one book for the price of two! Call 1800-NOT-A-REAL-NUMBER.com for a free promotional guide on how to get a life. That’s 1800-NOT-A-REAL-NUMBER.com.

 

SOMEONE GET ME A COPY OF THIS FOR EVERY HOILDAY KNOW EVER.