I replace your ______ with ______!

This was a popular game on another forum I used to be a part of.

Basically, you "replace" somebody's item with something else, and they react.

Example:

User1: I've replaced your computer with a potato.
User2: I always wanted a PotatOS. I replace your fridge with a cow.
User1: Now at least I'll always have fresh milk...
And so on and so forth.

Now, let's start this.

I replace your chair with a sandwich.

 

I EAT THE CHAIR IF IT HAS NO MAYO


I replace yo walls with cheese

 

I don't have a phone xD STOOPED

I replace yo life with poop.

 

I kill the spider

I replace your air conditioner with a heater

 

Time to feed that to my dog.

I replace your virginity with a computer mouse.

 

I use god to remove the demons

I replace your pet with a spider

 

Cool, another spider to add to my collection.

I replace your hands with tentacles

 

Just my hands? So I basically just have an arm and then another arm? AWESOME MY ARMS ARE LONG!

I replace your Minecraft account with THE DAMN CATS THAT ARE SCREAMING OUTSIDE

 

i love screaming cats
i replace the yoshi yosh with the yosh yoshi
ok imma sleep now
yeah godnight

 

I replace ur face with obama's
AHAHAHA
HAHAH
AHA
HA
HA
HAH
I'm so mean

 

Ok.... IM IN CHARGE NOW!

I replace ur screaming cats with giant ants

 

Well I don't have cats nor ants so I win :3

I replace your nono square with a banana.

 

Yay! I can be healthy now!
I replace the toliet with a bottle.
Where do u think you'll wee now? >:)

 

Lol probs in the bottle

I replace ur bottle for a magical wand!