Depressing Life Story [Language Warning(Possibly Offensive)]

I really need to write this. I don't know any of you well enough to consider anyone a close friend as you're all randoms on the internet, but I really need to give a cry for help. I know that we should treat our parents with respect, but I lack respect for them.

Spoiler: Mum

My mother seems like a nice person, but all I see her as is a bitch. She may give me clothes, food and a roof over my head, but I feel that's not enough to earn respect. To earn respect you must give respect. Normally the father would be more likely to hurt you when he beats you, instead of the mother, but oh my mother was a brutal pain machine. If I get slapped by either of them these days, mum still wins the pain competition.
So I've had this problem with food where I'd sometimes nick food from the fridge or something, my mum throws a shit, which is understandable. She's also had a problem with my attitude, she's brutally punished me, she's slapped me, yelled abuse and many more horrible things.
When I was 12, I was having trouble opening a door. My mum, obviously having a shitfest day, decided to take it out on me when I asked for help. She clawed my face, dragged me so that our noses were almost touching, then clapped her hands across my cheeks, crushing my face. She drew blood. She knew that domestic abuse would get her arrested, so she convinced me to not tell anyone (whoops, too late). She told me that even though I made her angry, she chose to hit me. Now whenever I have an 'attitude' she says that it's my fault if I get slapped or abused. She's been in lots of pain, so I try to help her, which isn't easy when you've got a bad attitude from abuse. She told me once that I made her want to commit suicide, which is ironic as that's exactly what I've felt like doing for the last year.
She also loves to have a go at me for things I did about a month ago.
The "c word", (you all know) she's called me it many times. I've been called so much. 'Lying piece of scum', 'wicked c***' and even something that's too upsetting to even write.

Spoiler: Dad

My father may seem like the happy, considerate business man, but oh boy he's as dumb as a rock. When my parents were together, he neglected us (possibly what caused mum to go ape on us) and never spent time with us. Now that they're apart, he's been trying to spend more time with me. I should appreciate that, but I hated how he treated us. It doesn't hurt when he slaps me, but it breaks my heart.
One time, I had a thing of cat food in my room somehow, so he asked me why it was in my room. When I said I didn't know, he asked me again. I understand when parents feel the need to ask twice, but no, he asked me 17 times until I yelled "I don't fucking know, okay? Now stop asking me!" He slapped me, the hardest slap he'd ever given me. He tried to ground me at my mum's house for what I did at his house, which is understandable but full of bullshit. He told his side of the family a twisted truth. He claimed that "I didn't enjoy a barbecue and I was grumpy and snapped when he asked me a simple question." He told them that I yelled "you're nothing but a fucking asshole" at him when I never said anything of the sort. 7 Months after that, Nana starts shitting at me about it when I didn't call my dad an asshole (when I should have tbh).
Now back to the food issue. He's lost his trust for me, but I never trusted him in the first place. You know what he does? He bitches at my MUM for MY behavior, then I get a 100x worse bitch at by someone. It really makes me want to kill myself so badly. He doesn't even bitch at the RIGHT people. He only cares about himself, he always complains when things don't go his way. I dread it when I go to visit him, every 2nd weekend. I see it as a break from my mum, but it's still hell. He treats me like I'm 10.

All I want is someone to trust, someone who can help me. Apparently that's too much to ask for in life, so I don't trust anyone.
I did trust someone at one point, a counselor which we had a strong bond. She left the school, so I've got nobody now.
I've considered suicide many times. Almost committed it once, me and the person involved never talked about it that day. If this is how my life is going to be, I don't want it anymore. Everything about me is horrible. All my family does is wreck me. I have reasons to kill myself, I just need a reason not to.
PLEASE START A PM WITH ME IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN HELP