Letter to my classmates

Estimated classmates,
Each day I am eager to see you, to be happy because of you so that I can get to be with you all. And I really like you all. I like how you always support me no matter what. You're my closest friends, But.
"You look gay"
"You're fat"
"You're affeminate"
"You're ugly"
"You stand like a girl"
"Are you gay?"
"Faggot!"
"You watch porn"
"You're small"
"You're short"
"YOU WATCH MY LITTLE PONY LOL"
"Wow, you're so manly (sarcasm)"
"Trans people are disgusting"
"You want a purple flower and a butterfly notebook?"
"LGBTQ much?"
I spend almost all day with my mother and sister, I almost have an eating disorder, Do you have any idea of how hard it is to be "manly"?, I didn't choose my appearance, I try as hard as I can every single day to not stand like a girl, I have never been attracted to a man and there'd be nothing wrong with that if I were, I really dislike that term, I'm not a pervert, I didn't choose my size nor my height, is it my fault I like a little kids' show?, Rude, Not cool, Offensive, homophobia much?
Even though I'm not gay you're disrespecting the community and that DOES affect me because some of my closest friends are gay/trans. And I really want to make myself the type you call "manly", so stfu.
"You're fine"
"We accept you no matter what"
"I like you"
"You're manly"
"Don't listen to them"
"They're wrong"
"They don't know what affeminate means"
Compare that amount to the amount of hate. How many times have I heard those words in my life? Close to nothing.
"It's a joke"
"Lol it's just a prank bro"
"Triggered xD"
"Man, it's just a joke though"
"xD but that's just a joke"
"dont be mad xD"
"xDDDDDDD"
"jk bro"
"bruh"
"triggered much?"
"butthurt much?"
"wow, you're really boring."
" xd"
"lol"
"exdee"
I don't give a damn if it's a joke, I've noticed these attitudes myself and I tried as hard as I could to stop doing those. I want you to stop calling me these things, they hurt my feelings. I'm not a faggot.
I'm not what you say I am

Spoiler: Disclaimer

If you considered this homophobic, let me know, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings with this letter, I needed to let some weight off my chest and if this was seen as homophobic or offensive in any way, then please let me know so that I close this thread and request for it to be deleted. Also, please don't say that "If they are your REAL friends then they won't say that" because in that case I have close to no friends. Thanks.

 

I'm sorry on behalf of everyone who has ever hurt you. Don't try so hard to be something your not. And if people dont wanna be your friend over something like that, then be glad they aren't your friend. I wanna say things will get easier but in reality it might not be, I know it's not what you wanna hear But you wanna make them think that after everything you been through how are you still not giving up only then will they stop. You got my support

 

These are kinda conflicting statements. Where is the support in this? I don't mean to say your friends aren't friends. If they want to support you, they should probably choose different words.

Also, remember to be yourself please. It really doesn't matter if you act as manly as you want to be. Just don't force something on to yourself that you're not entirely comfortable with.

It's important to love yourself as well. You are in control of your own self, and if you hate yourself it's only going to get worse.

 

Listen man, I know what you're going through, and I know how hard it is to listen to your closest friends bash you like that. It's awful. Less than two weeks ago I got into a huge fight with some of my friends because I wasn't happy with the way they'd been treating me. They kept telling me it was a joke, but I wasn't having it. As a result, I lost my closest friend. I've now given up on her. I miss her more than words can explain, but it's for the best. Now, I've already made new friends, and I'm happier than I've ever been. But this isn't supposed to be about me, it's about you. It's perfectly okay to be mad at them for treating you unfairly, you have every right to be mad. It's perfectly okay to look different, act different, or have different interests. We're all human. We all have flaws. It's just that some people are too ignorant to realize that. I suggest you talk to a parent or principal about the issue. I know that you probably don't want to because you don't want an adult getting involved, but it's the right choice, and the right choice is always the best choice, no matter how much you don't want to go through with it.

Just remember, it's ok to be different.

 

You see the first paragraph was directed to the people who are my REAL friends, and they accept me as I am. However the quotes are directed toward the 90% of people in my class who confessed that they used to dislike me because I was effeminate, and some people still call me effeminate to this day.

P.S. You say that it's a joke? I'm not buying that.

 

i dont know if i have anxiety or not at this point. i always say to my friends that im happy with my body and im happy coming out as transgender and bisexual but i dont know how to react to people who dont expect it. im in cross country and i felt like a chimichanga compared to the other girls and boys around me who were completely fit because they have been running years before me. the entire time i felt like i needed to move away to another state because it was all bothering me but then i kept remembering my friends. at this point in time i dont trust any of my classmates or my friends anymore, they all rely on making friends by being jerks to other people and i hate it. people think they should pick on me because im more different than them and its all for them to make friends. im not sure if this would be considered anxiety or what, but im tired of going to school. im a good student and maintain a 4.0 gpa, but the problem is i dont feel like i fit in and i dont ever want to school- i want to move away. i want to start a new life completely, but i dont know what to consider this.

 

I don't think I said it was a joke. Sorry if I offended you in some way...

 

No no xD I directed that to my classmates again lel

 

So you in 5th or 6th grade?

 

I'm sorry this happened, but keep in mind these people could be just as insecure as you are. Which could be the reason why they're making fun of you.

 

when my friends call me gay, i laugh and say its true.
i do support the lgbt+ community, so its doesnt matter much for me

 

i hate how people hurt each other's feelings just so they can have more friends by roasting people and seeming cool.
lmao no dude you're just being a prick not funny

especially when it comes to jokes against lgbt+ community, thats when it really hits home

 

I guess I could sorta understand. When I was in 7th grade we didn't act that immature but I guess I could sorta understand