Forgiveness and Reformation

Inspired by @Joseph10003 and @Venom_Snake​

Earlier, I made a thread titled Guilt and how we cope with it. I thought about how the thread was formed and it was more for a scenario for when people have hurt someone and they simply can't forgive themselves. I decided to make a thread for those who have been wronged and why they should learn to forgive, the sooner the better! :)

What's happening?​

So basically in this world we will never be perfect. We will make mistakes, we will hurt others, we will be hurt by others, and we will always encounter people who are... less than civil. Sometimes we gold grudges, and sometimes we do actions we may regret. There is nothing wrong with being human and feeling pain at certain times, but we can't all hold grudges, and soon enough we need to let things go.

Two wrongs don't make a right.​

If you've been recently betrayed/hurt by a close friend of yours, you would probably be feeling upset, angry, or beaten down in general. When the pain is fresh, the anger comes afterward. Sometimes we hold grudges, and sometimes we swear that we will stop at nothing to hurt this person back. You've felt pain and you want your enemy to feel pain too. But honestly, is it worth it?

So you want to hurt your enemy. There is nothing much it will accomplish rather than driving the rift between your friendship further apart. It will also cause needless suffering that may not ease the pain. Another reason people justify revenge is to gain the respect of their enemy, whilst this may not be always true. Two wrongs don't make a right, they form an endless chain reaction of wrongs, each side taking their turn in "revenge". Before you continue down a path of endless fighting, try to be the better person and stop the chain reaction before things may become too hectic.

Forgive, or forget.​

The strong can forgive, the wise can forget, but the weak will always seek revenge. When we are hurt, the damage we may do to ourselves is far worse than the damage done by our enemy. There is no one to blame, but allowing these people who have betrayed you to have complete control over your emotions is already admitting defeat. By doing this, you are showing them they have control over you, and that is something you would never want your enemy to have.

If you are strong and willing to forgive, you can reach out to this person. If this person realizes what they have done wrong, and is willing to change to a better character to continue your friendship, then there is no harm done in forgiving them and moving on toward a better future.

If you are wise, and you are sure that this person is not someone you want to continue your friendship with, then you can ignore. If you are sure this person only wants to hurt you, then this person is not someone who should affect you any longer.

Rather than allow these people to hurt us further, you can forgive or forget them. Don't let them control you, because you and only you decide who your friends are and what you want to pursue.

Is it really worth the grudge?​

Sometimes we might have a friend who is apologetic for their actions. Maybe they would like to be forgiven. Sometimes people can change and we don't know it. Sometimes we may have a friend who has changed, and we just haven't opened our eyes to the truth yet.

Beating them down or seeking revenge may in fact turn you into the bully. People are able to change, and no matter who they are, people are able to reform their character. There is a difference between "justice" and revenge. Be the better person, and learn to forgive and forget. Don't sink down to their level, because you're just becoming the same person they once were.

Forgive not because they may deserve it, but to free yourself from any pain you may feel.​

Sometimes our enemy may not be apologetic. Sometimes our enemy may not care whether we forgive them or not. Sometimes our enemy may not want our forgiveness.

The damage we do to ourselves is far worse than the damage our enemy has done to us. Forgiving your enemy, even if they don't deserve it, will set you free. The only person you are hurting by holding a grudge is yourself. You have done absolutely nothing wrong in the situation, and you shouldn't be the one suffering.

In conclusion, we will always feel pain, we will suffer in our lives, and we will meet people who will betray us. There is no reason for revenge. The best revenge you could possibly have is to show that they do not affect you and that you are able to move on with your life regardless of anything they can do to you! The strong can forgive, and build a better future and move past any mistake. The wise can learn to ignore and move on when a person has betrayed them and is not willing to change to rebuild, but the weak must have revenge. Don't be the weak person. Show your enemy that you're strong and that you can move on regardless of their judgement on you.

Thanks for reading, stay positive, and have a great day/night!

Let's all move on from our rifts. The past isn't anything we can change, but the future is.

-Sirius

 

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