A huge confession and a thousand apologies

Discussion in 'General Discussion / Real life stuff' started by Syrian, May 1, 2016.

  1. Syrian

    Syrian Former Mod x2 Donator

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    Here lies a confession I made about my character and a few mistakes I made in the past.

    I've decided to edit away what was previously said for personal reasons.

    Thanks for reading.

    -Sirius
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2016
  2. vipa

    vipa the hornace of death Donator

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    It's good that you confessed. It's very hard to stack lies upon lies, and you would eventually do something stupid. It's good to forget your older identity, and start anew, besides, you have this community's support.
     
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  3. Smg

    Smg Retired | Also known as 'Phaithful' Donator

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    Dude, just know that there are people that care.
    I can't even imagine the pain you're going through, being afraid to be your true self because of the potential hate/backlash/loss of friends.

    I know it may seem hard, but you got to tell someone you trust, in real life I mean. Your mother possibly. Heck, even a counselor would be alright; don't be ashamed if you see one, 'cause there's nothing wrong with wanting to talk to someone. If you don't speak up, this will eat at you for so long, until it eventually kills you. Trust me, I beg you.

    Just know that no matter who you are, that you have my respect. Only the strong can go through some situations like these, and keep persuing what they truly desire.

    Dude, I said this already, but I can't even imagine the pain you're going through. Before 'Caitlyn Jenner' or the 'Transgender bathrooms', I honestly never knew that someone could be a boy/girl, and think as a girl/boy, whilst being the opposite gender. I can't even imagine how tough it is. Please, try to use my help, and I got to wish you good luck. Just know that there are people that care.
     
  4. Superfrog

    Superfrog Donator

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    Humans fear what they can't understand, and fear what they do not want to learn about.
    I hate that. Keep strong Sirius because all of us on this forum are right behind you, in well Spirit.
    Like what Smg said you have my utter respect. If someone is your friend and leaves you because of this just know that, that person isn't worth it.

    I knew about Gender Dysphoria for a while, but I didn't know anyone with the condition before. But keep strong.
     
  5. Aiden

    Aiden Donator

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    No matter what gender you identify as or what your sexuality is, you are valid, despite what others think. If you identify as a female, you are a real female. Also, you mentioned that you had no romantic attraction towards men, women, etc. You might be aromantic, or asexual, someone who does not experience sexual attraction toward individuals of any gender. You might also be both, if that's how you feel.

    Other people's perspectives, whether it being positive or negative, you are the only one who can define you. Be true to yourself. I know that it's hard to do that in front of everybody, because we're afraid of what they're going to think. But you know, we're always going to be judged, no matter what we do. Someday, you will wake up not having to worry about society telling you what your gender or sexuality is.

    Huge respect for you for confessing and making this thread, I support you. If you need any help, know that I am always here (this also goes to everyone who is reading this). Please do not hesitate to message me. Stay strong and take care.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2016
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  6. Syrian

    Syrian Former Mod x2 Donator

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    Thank you all for the support. It means a lot to me that there are some who are able to understand my position and offer help. Hopefully things will turn out for the best.

    I know that suicide is never an option, and I obviously know that I should keep moving forward, because life will beat us down and keep us there permanently if we let it. As said before, it isn't about how hard you hit, but it's really how much you can get hit and keep moving forward. If you want to get what you're worth, then you have to be willing to take the hits.

    Once again, thank you all for the support.
     
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  7. Icecream

    Icecream LilCoffee Donator

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    Fear is like the monster hiding in the closet. Nobody dares to open the door, because of the unknown outcomes. However, you marched forward and opened the door for a peek. Nothing, but colorful clothes hid behind it.


    You faced a problem that has been hindering you. I respect your decision and I'll support you onward.
     
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  8. Rei

    Rei The One and Only

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    Sirius, even I just met you (Since I just returned and stuff) I think I just read my own (kind-of) biography being on this forum for the last year or 2.
    That's instant respect (I have no idea why people just bold respect, so get a bold, italicized, and underlined one because you got mine big time xD) from me, because I know how it feels to have a false character to shove up the true self from the internet to escape harsh reality and express emotions and intentions that I can't simply show on reality and use that for good so people won't end up like me. To help people who were damaged, bullied, problematic, depressed and etc.. I was able to make friends just like you with this identity, people that were once bullied and now strong people that lived their own lives now.
    I would also just daydream countless hours of what if this fake identity is actually me in real life, thinking that would great because my life would be more better as before. But of course, I'm just human. I'd have to lie my own age, history, and connections. I had to avoid questions about me, but sometimes I answer them with lies and a bit of truth because I cared my online friends a lot.

    But as time passed on, these two identities I have began colliding my life. It's hard to be 2 people at once, which made me forget my fake identity's background which caused people to be suspicious about me because my real identity began to be better in reality. Who was once a guy that plays computer games who wanted to have life just like my new identity, who is now a guy that plays computer games who is alright with his identity in reality. The fake identity also backfired me on the internet because someone close to me knew that I was lying, we had an argument and we stopped talking but I knew that this will happen. It's just I'm not prepared for it, which caused me to have a depressed feeling for a long while. But I moved on with it because at least this someone knew who I am, and I'd hoped that they are having a good time in life because I helped them to be happy in their life in reality.

    And on last Thursday (or Wednesday for non-timetravelers) I confessed my true identity to this forum because they deserved the truth of who I am, and I was truly convinced by an old friend of mine that people do give second chances to people. And if they don't give you second chances, then erase them from your life. (In a serious note, don't use an eraser to erase people in real life. I tried, they were more pissed at me as ever before but who cares. I just pissed them off xD)

    Sirius, I want to say you're an awesome person for telling this and I'll support you.
    If you need any help or advice, talk to me because I might help with that.
    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Syrian

    Syrian Former Mod x2 Donator

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    You basically said everything I had done. It is sort of hard to live two lives at once. In the process, you will lose yourself. It seems pretty hard to let go, but I was ready to leave these new friends behind in the end. The problem was, I couldn't just leave letting them wish I could come back, and missing a person who doesn't even exist.

    I've recently confessed to a few people who I really am. Some of them are willing to continue the friendship, others, never to return. I still take full responsibility for this and I have said my apologies.

    It was sort of like drugs to me. At first it felt correct and it even made others feel loved too. But then in the end, it strikes you in the neck.
     
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  10. Rei

    Rei The One and Only

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    Well, they should at least accept the fact this is you. The real you, it doesn't matter if they still be your friend or not. It matters that they knew you how you are, because it's better to live with the truth than a lie which will boil up through time until it breaks into a millions of pieces because of broken trust.
     
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  11. YoshiBlocksJHD

    YoshiBlocksJHD Intermediate exorcist first class

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    Honestly I'm glad for you, I really am. I'm glad you haven't hurt yourself and I'm glad you are strong. What you just said and how you've kept it to yourself is honestly painful to just listen to. It's like everyone things it's gross or wrong but you didn't see what the issue was. You just you do, I won't ever judge and the same goes for probably the majority of this community. Keep being strong and never give up alright I know it sounds cheesy but it's true :)
     
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  12. YoshcraftMLG

    YoshcraftMLG E.T Sniper~ Actual Sandwich

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    I find it kinda weird that people have to "confess" this kind of thing, like it's frowned upon or something.

    Anyways, glad you came out with it. I bet it feels really good, and it's the right thing to do. You have my support bud.
     
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  13. BlakeSenpai

    BlakeSenpai ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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    I feel ya man I have the same issue. I'm with you all the way.
     
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