I need to vent.

Okay so basically my dating life is just what's the talk when anyone talks about me so I'll just keep going with that notion.
Just after new years, I nearly got into a full relationship with @_Harold, but I still just wasn't ready and was still quite heartbroken.
Then I had an irl bf.
Then there was @NickerPan. I really loved Nick, we had a great time together. The only issue we had was the communication over voice. On Skype, I felt like a girlfriend. On TeamSpeak, I didn't so much. I wasn't sure if he was uncomfortable or what. Then I found out he just didn't want a family member to know. I was okay with that. He then assured me later on that he told that family member about us and that we'll be able to talk like a normal couple. That wasn't the case..so I ended it.
Months later, I dated @_Harold. I really loved Harold during this time, but some things happened that made me uncomfortable but I did not want to let him know because I knew that was just going to make the relationship awkward asf. So, I tried to hop my way out of it to not hurt him so much. But, he did get hurt because he loved me a lot and then a hate group was made when we were going through the break up. With this hate group, I was attacked for things that supposedly happened with Harold and other relationships. To be honest, I just did not understand why people needed to get involved. Did they realise they were just making it worse? I was accused of dumping Nick because he was too young. Boom, false. I was accused of heaps of things that just made no sense and were false. I didn't understand the reason behind the attack. I don't know how people are brought up but I know for a fact that going by "an eye for an eye" is chaotic.
After all the depravity, I began to make my relationships more quiet and private. They were really, really good. But, they didn't work out. Not all relationships are meant to work out. The point of dating is to date to see if you really love them, see a future with them and are meant to be with that person. I wish to not release any information about those relationships because they were private and you all don't need to know about those as there weren't rumours with those. There were no big "publicity" issues, shall I say.

Now I'm going to talk about my personality.
Not everyone is supposed to like my personality. I enjoy joking around. I try my best to act like how I act irl, but no one on here seems to like it? Therefore, sometimes what I say is hypocritical because I'm always stuck between two. I'm always confused and never know what I really want. I go by what others say sometimes, but then others say go by what my heart says, but then I'm just going by what they are saying by going by what my heart says (I don't blame you if you are confused with this) and it just makes no sense then? I really do try to make everyone happy, but there's always something inside of me that says I should do what makes me happy. The only time I get into a fight is due to someone else's wrongdoing towards me. I don't say omg this girls a bitch for no reason.
Also, there are always misunderstandings. No one can fully perceive someone's point of view as they have not lived their full lives, thought how they've thought, had their insecurities, had their emotional trauma, or just been them.

Next: staff.
Yea, I have a bit of history involving my dislike towards staff. Now, that is gone because I am aware of who it is from staff that has been messing with me. I'm sorry to all those staff I disrespected due to the issues. To be honest, I could never understand why no one stood up for me when those certain staff members talked really badly behind not just my back, but basically half of the community's back, but I understand - you can't please everyone with your actions.

Finally, my real life.
Don't worry, I haven't lied about my age or anything like that.
Being a mistake in my family has been one of the hardest things to live with. Growing up with lies has made me fearful of them. I always feel like no one trusts me and that I'm an outcast. When I was 10, I discovered I had a disability with my legs and I went through a massive depression. I wasn't able to do sport or run for many years. I had to go through surgery and I'm still not 100%. Like I said earlier, I am always torn between two. Another example of it is my mother and father. I love them both but whenever I take one's side of something, the other loses respect for me. My parents divorced when I turned 13 - completely the worst time. Entering adulthood, I was just made scared. I wanted to go back to living in an innocent world. From this, I was then thrown into another massive depression. The struggles of my family were put on my sister and I. Terrible family secrets were exposed and everything just shattered. My life hasn't fully repaired since, and I don't think it can. I am still being abused at home, and I hope to move out soon which takes us to another thing. I want to move out of my current home due to the abuse, but I am bribed with a lot of opportunity. If I move to my father's home, I don't have much opportunity, but there will be no abuse. My life is just confusing. This week has been super rough. I'm in my final year and I really want to do the best I can, but the world just throws more and more weight on top of me. Being a senior has never been so hard. The pressure and stress has taken over. Now I can say by writing this, I just feel way better :). I'm sorry if I've disrespected/offended you. I'd love to start over clean :)

To make things easier, I'm just going to thank my best friends:
@Zackery - I know at this day you are the best person in this world. You're so forgiving, supportive, loving, creative, helpful - okay, you're a saint. Although sometimes I do get quite worried and dramatic, I'm still me and I love you to death.
@Joseph10003 Thank you for being there for me. You're always so wise. You always sound so calm and kept together. You handle things so well. You're a really good role model.
Now, you're wondering
WOW
such a short list
why did you include your best friends but not anyone else?
Well, with my best friends, I am 100% that they think of me as their best friend. After so many issues with friendships, I don't know who sees me as a friend. If you do see me as a friend, let me know because I'm really oblivious half the time and the communication is just key.

But I must give a thanks for reading this though :)
I've probably made a ton of errors, my bad - I'm not great with English.
Please don't assume and ask me first. If you have anything you need to say that really shouldn't be said out in public, please say in private. If there's something you want me to take out, let me know.

 

As a old member of this community, with a 2 year gap on the server/forums, I have almost no say in this.

What I can say is, why would someone spread rumors about you? I remember you being a moderator way back then, but apparently within that 2-year gap of mine something happened. It is preposterous that anyone could judge you about your relationships with other people, unless what they say is 100% true with no flaws, and must be said, I do not see why anyone would judge you, or anyone in that matter in the first place. Because they think it would be funny for a one-time joke or something?

You see that once a truth is spread around, every time it is told it is changed in some way or form. A truth can easily be made into a lie with just a few words, and before you know it, it is the new "truth". An example of this would be Christians (No bias). Christians have the Bible, which reminds them of their truth, and because of this, it is not forgotten. It is why we have history books, once it is written down, it is put into the minds of the people who wrote it, and the people who read it.

Same goes for rumors. They start as truth (Or just a made-up lie), but someone else warps it into another. Not only that, their "truth" is also heard by others, which then change it into theirs.

Now since you have written this down, made it clear for us to see the original truth, nobody can change it anymore, so you basically written your own history book.

That's humans for you.

(Edit: Fixed some grammar mistakes)

 

I really like your history concept, and thank you :)

 

Thank you :)

 

You should always say what you want to say. I learned that this year and telling what you think really helps (i dont care about the hate). If you want to talk, I am here, although you dont know me that good. You went through some shit times as Ive read, but you need to stay strong

 

You obviously know I'll always be here for you! I'll always care to listen to what you have to say, or tell me what's on your mind. Honestly though, dating is just like a test.. and it all depends on who passes and who fails the test. I past the test, and I'm pretty sure you did too. And that's a good thing. Brittney, you're beyond amazing, way beyond the stars in our universe. I'm so glad that I got to meet someone like you, and be able to call you mine. Just remember that I love you, and that I am here for you, whenever you need me.. Unless I'm at work.. then that won't be possible. Stay strong baby! <3

 

#Relatable

 

Just saying, we are still talking about things online. We dont know everything about eachother, so we also dont know when we hurt people and dont know the whole truth.

 

Alright
I read the whole thing, and I get why you wrote this.
I myself am sorry if I have done anything in any way to hurt you, and am sorry that any people intentionally tried to hurt you.

But here's where I'm going to talk about my beliefs.
If you don't know by now, I am a huge non supporter of online dating. Especially dating through the Minecraft game. I personally see it as useless, and a waste of time. Friends of mine on the server do date, and that irritates me a little (I will not state names). But, I made an exception. Because they're my friends. Once they started getting dramatic over it, that's where I had to say something. All this dating stuff we do here, always (technically not always) ends in a bad way (Broken friendships/Depression/etc). I really do hope you get where I'm coming from, because I have experienced this before, with my friends. Look, I'm not trying to get attention with this, or hurt anyone in any way. This is the honest truth in my words. A truth I believe in. If this has happened so much in the past for you, then I would suggest staying away from Minecraft dating, or online dating for the time being. And, you don't even have to listen to me. It's completely your choice, not mine to make. But, I am allowed to try to help, which I am doing.

I said this earlier, but I am really sorry that all this happened to you. I really do wish you don't have to go through any more abuse like situations.

 

triggered

 

rrrrrrreeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEE

 

I still stand by my opinion in the beginning, but I did not know Magical prior to my rejoining of the forums. I did not know about any of this..

I will remain neutral now, but I still stand by some of the points I made in my post earlier. You choose what is right or wrong this time. It is your opinion anyway.

I would suggest closing this thread, because it could become dramatic very fast. I am simply trying to help everyone of this thread, some had their points and some had theirs. Ultimately all of us were right about something in this thread, no need to start any kind of flame war. I wanted to help everyone avoid anything that could get out of hand easily.

I have tagged you guys, PM each other, or even me if you still have disagreements to sort out.
@Saul1337 @_Magical @TheRealSmg

 

When I posted my opinion, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I said in my post that was my honest opinion, and I didn't want to hurt anyone. If @Saul1337 or @_Magical need to talk to me about my post, then I will freely talk to them privately.

And yes, I agree with you on the locking part. Drama/Flame wars are just clawing to start. Let's just stop it before it can even begin.

 

Please tell me the difference between the truth and lies. Maybe mixing up the meanings is the reason you lie all the time.

I don't really care about the part about me. You can lie about it all you want.. The worst part is now deleted and I don't know why you'd say that. Maybe explain that as well?

 

You said two reasons why you broke up with @NickerPan and I that were not the same reasons we were told. You told Nick "I don't want to date online" but around 2 weeks later you date me. Then, you tell me the same reason after a few months of us together. So I'm not sure if you're trying to just lie and make us look bad, or you're just doing this for the laughs.

Nonetheless, I'm very disappointed in this. I was beginning to trust you again, but yeah.

 

This is my dating life:
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

 

I felt uncomfortable reading this.
I probably wouldn't put ppl on blast like this,
over such personal stuff =/
But that's just me.

 

I broke up with you @_Harold and @NickerPan. Therefore, I am the only who really knows the reason why I broke up with you.

Also, I really didn't appreciate how I wrote a whole thread about numerous things and everyone, like always, pays attention to the dating stuff. It's a difficult thing about me and I'd just wish that people would accept it more. I find it hard to talk about my dating stuff because I know not everyone agrees.

I really did not intend to attack anyone in my thread. I just wanted to show my side of things of what has gone on because most people have been told really the wrong things. You are all great people, I really don't want to have an issue. We all have different perceptions of things. This thread was to reveal my truth about things. I find it very offensive when my opinions are labelled as lies. I kept this thread open in hopes people would be more mature, but I see this is not the case.

Adding onto this, I spent a lot of time working on this and the fact that people thought this was a joke really made me upset. I'm sorry for all that I've done..please just accept me for who I am.