Best Insults and Comebacks?

Ok. In my class we were playing capture the flag. I was one of the 2 team captains. Our team colours were red and gray. This snobby girl moaned saying "I don't like gray!" and I was like "Nobody likes you but we have to deal with it!"

 

ugh my grandma can make better comebacks then all of these
its a joke

If someone insults your saying "You don't got any balls"

just reply "thats not what your mother said last night" ;)

 

Me: What's your WiFi password?
Person: My d*ck
Me: It says that the password is too short.

 

If someone if mean, tell them they aren't invited to your birthday party. Works every time.

 

Mean Person: I eat pieces of sh*t like you for breakfast!!

Me: You eat pieces of sh*it for breakfast?

Get the reference?

 

You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.

The only positive thing about you is your HIV status.

If I wanted to kill myself, I could just climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level.

Yo mama so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Yo mama so dumb she tried waking a sleeping bag.

Yo mama so fat, the universe revolves around her.

 

Guy: Yo Joel, your face is a joke.

Me: *Looks at the window, points out the window* Oh look.

Guy: What? *looking out the window*

Me: It´s your dignity, flying away.

 

Or you say "You're birth certificate was an apology letter from Durex"

 

Yo mama's so stupid and her sister's so fat, the stupid one brought a SPOON to the SUPERBOWL, while the fat one brought cereal.

 

Am I the only guy who gets nostalgic memories of pwnagepotato1337 from seeing that picture?

 

@Zanq

 

*nerds phone rings in class*
Cool Guy- awww... was that your mommy?
*whole class laughs*
Nerd- no it was yours
*whole class is silent*

bet it works ill try it next time

 

so in class I sit next to a guy that's super disgusting and this is great read:
guy: I dropped my crayon in the trash and picked it up so don't touch my hand it's dirty
me: ok and ew
*he goes wash his hands and comes back*
guy: you can touch me now I washed my hands
me: either way I'd rather not touch you
guy: that's rude
me: ok *smiles and walks away*
I'm super nice

 

I watched that movie hahahahhaha

 

I have your conversation on "do not disturb"

 

Go step on a lego

 

:o

 

If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I’m sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face.

I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works