This needs to be said..

As most of you know..im pretty well known on the creative side of the server for my racism profanity and such...Im not really sure how i got to be this way. But i did. People always tell me..doing this makes me diffrent and "Special" from all the players cause of how i act, i'll admit its true, ive grown pretty popular. But idk i dont like it..

Everyone thinks its all fine..and just because i do this assume im a happy person. Buuuut im not. And listen im not doing this for attention or anything like that. I just think its time for this to be said. Ive suffered with Depression for about 2 years now.. (yes..im actually diagnosed unlike 70% of teenagers who say they have depression) When i started doing this whole..racist profanity thing..it just started as a joke with my friends. but then..it kept going..it made people laugh..it made people recognize me..i was finally becoming happy...but then i went to far. People started hating me... bashing on me..swearing at me.. calling me names and stuff..it even got to the point where im not even welcome on the server anymore.. Cause every time i join someone says "oh look its zee.." or "ugh why is zee here" and stuff like "god dammit zee joined" Yea it was harmless at first. but now it gets to me.. Hearing that everytime i want to play to make myself happy.. Knowing people on creative dont even think of me as a person with feelings anymore. Cause if i say im sad its a big suprise cause apperently i cant even have feelings anymore.

I'll admit...what ive done is..bizarre..and very unacceptable. and im sorry to anyone ive offended or hurt..or anything like that. Im sorry to all the staff for everything ive done.. Im mostly sorry to @Loling for everything that happend with him..Im so sorry man.

I guess what im trying to say here..is im trying my hardest to change..believe me i am. But..i cant take playing on J&H anymore knowing people hate me.

 

you can still play.
respect others, and they'll start respecting you.

 

It takes a lot of courage to make this thread =)
Good luck with your change!?

 

Thanks for letting us know :3

But yeah, it does take a lot of courage, but im willing to forgive you.

Forgive and forget?

 

I've never really talked to you,yet every time I saw you on the server I always thought you were one of the more popular ones who everyone liked. It really sucks that you say you can't play because of other people bothering you. I say you play on the server if you want, who cares about other people's opinions? I mean if these people were ever your "friends" then they wouldn't treat you this way, believe me, I know. I don't hate you at all, because all I've seen you do is nice things and if that's all I've seen you ever act like, I'm sticking to my judgment. Even though I don't really know you that well, you can always have me to count on and I'll always be your friend. I hope you're okay <3

 

I never knew you actually had depression... Sorry for how I have treated you and everything, but, I said that just to joke around. I never knew it would hurt your feelings. Once again, I am sorry buddy :(

 

thanks everyone...

 

Hey man. You probably won't remember me due to name changing. But I'm kklm225, we used to build a ton of RP's when I was on the creative side. But what you did was a big step. I know that most of us will forgive you.

 

@Warden Of course i remember you. we had some great times... Thanks.

 

Hey Zee, its going to be alright and when you come back to creative ill be there every step of the way!
- Kito26

 

Hi Zee. You probably slightly know me. And, especially, Cheezi. Thank you for making this thread and telling us the truth... when we thought of you as someone we shouldn't have. We regarded you as one of the people who don't have emotions, although those don't exist. And while your actions were offensive, we reacted all the more offensively towards you. We didn't think about you, your story, or your future, but now, we realize that being more humane and less static is what reverses our cruelty. Your apology and admission has awoken us to all of those things previously listed; you, your story, and your future. As we accept them we forgive you and ask for forgiveness by attempting to reverse our previous actions and their effects.

 

Everyone makes mistakes, as long as you don't make them again, if you realise you have made mistakes, you should try not and make the mistake again, also I think i they say that just say I am sorry.