Rules of Wal-Mart

All Wal-Mart stores are to be renamed "TRIANGLE ILLUMENATI CONFIRMED LOLOL 360 NOSCOPED SKRUBSS."

 

You must consume enough caffeine to kill a water buffalo to enter.

 

every customers or staffs thats in walmart need to smile :D

 

If you break an item inside the store which you have not yet purchased, you must convince another person to buy the broken item at full price before you are allowed to leave the store.

 

Anyone who has recently eaten something containing peanut butter must wait 10 years before being able to enter our stores again.

 

ALL PRICE TAGS MUST BE A BLINDING NEON COLOR AND IN AN EXTREMELY BIG FONT SIZE

 

Don't die. It's illegal. Punishment: Death.

 

If you are found to be alive at the time of entry into Wal-Mart, you will be punished with existence.

 

All employees are required to worship Justin Bieber.

 

All Items Shall Cost 6x More And Explode 2 Hours After Purchase

 

No dogs or feet are allowed in the store. Good luck getting around with no feet.

 

People who dare go to Target will be shot and taken to labor camps to make more bullshit to sell

 

.siht ekil klat tsum erots eht ni enoyrevE

 

you must attempt to tickle every cashier's belly button before exiting walmart

 

Kill all bugs on sight. All of them.

 

Bugs are our friends! Don't harm them! Let them infest all our products and bring beauty to our store!

 

ll-ay iting-wray or-ay eech-spay ust-may e-bay in-ay ig-pay atin-lay...

Unless you're French.

 

You will give birth after leaving the shop. Even if you are a man.

 

You must make up a Wal-Mart song from the top of your head and yell it as loudly as you can every time you enter. Must be different every time.