A complete guide to being kind

Welcome to my guide on how to become a kind and respectful person!

First of all, let me introduce myself. People know me under the name of Motofreakz, I'm a member of the community that devotes herself to making this server a better place. What we have here is incredible, and we are all part of the same community! But sometimes being part of the same community can be hard, some people have issues and want to change themselves to be better person on both ItsJerryAndHarry and real life.

But first thing's first, why should we change?

That is a really good question, why should we make the effort to change? Well the more people change and become kind, the better will be their experience on ItsJerryAndHarry! Not only that, but you will make more friends, have more fun and earn more respect from other. A community full of kind people is healthier, provides more fun and better feedback, allowing better development of the server we all love and appreciate!

The first thing to do is to try to control anger.

A huge problem on ItsJerryAndHarry is raging on the forums or on the server. It's also the first and the largest obstacle to changing in many cases.
First of all, you need to learn a method to control yourself on the spot, when the rage fills you up, remember that it's never a good thing to act under the influence of rage, never type something, either on the forum or the server, out of rage. It will often end up hurting others feeling and will certainly not get your point across. There are hundreds of way to control yourself, many people told me that listening to happy music or ignoring the source of their anger helps them. Since it's probably an habit for most people to rage, it's hard to reverse the attitude, but it's indeed possible!

Like I stated above, expressing your anger violently and being disrespectful never helps, it's better to stop yourself from typing in chat completely and to move on. But that doesn't really solve the issue, you need to let it out. This bring us to the next point...

Letting the anger out

There are many ways to let anger and stress out, but they all come down to one thing, expressing it.
You have to express your anger, it's obviously what most people do, but they directly express it when it happen, this is called rage and it's what we are trying to avoid.
You can express it physically, by doing some sport, training or being physically active, but were on a minecraft forum, not everyone is active physically and that's okay, there is alternative!
Playing video game can help, playing beat them all game like prototype or dinasty warrior always helped me express my anger, or simply load up a minecraft map and blow it up! It sound a little bit simple, but it really feel good to let it all out!
There also a harder, but really effective method. If something anger you, go write about it! Or even better, share it with someone you trust! Messaging someone and telling them how you feel regarding a situation always help me, truthfully sharing your feeling will help you feel better, and you might get good advice from your friend! If you really feel like it, you could share it with the entire community!

Changing things

Now that you know how to stop anger when it come, and that you have good way to let it all out, it's a good thing to look seek way to change the problem(what make you angry)!
Now, of course if an unbalanced class annoy you, it's a good thing to suggest a solution to the problem, but remember that to change things, you must take time to think. Making a thread based of anger won't do anything and will simply revive your anger. Take some time to think, and not only about the class or others attitude that might have angered you, you must also think and judge yourself.
Of course sometime the situation is really unfair, but sometime you're at fault too!
It's important to take the time to think and to judge your own action. Why do you get angry every time you loose a game? Why do you feel bad after getting insulted? Those thing may seem simple, one could simply answer that kit are unbalanced or that other shouldn't insult, but that's not entirely true.
By taking time with yourself to think, you could realize that, for example, you give too much importance to winning and thus rage a lot when loosing, or you could also realize that those people that insult you do it because they feel bad about themselves and that their behaviour represent how badly they need help.
Taking time to think will allow you to find solution to problem that can be fixed by other and to suggest solution, but it will also allow you to realize why thing are this way and why do you get angry, allowing you to change your view in your attitude easier, making you become less angry.

Dealing with others

We are in a community, we have to deal with other member and their opinion. This is much harder then simply controlling anger based of an event, because a person might continue the behaviour that annoy you while you're trying to calm down. A good advice is to ignore those person, but ignoring is not always the solution. Were on a forum, you will be conflicted with opinion you disagree with every day and you will want to reply to them to express the fact you disagree, and you can! But first of all, when you see someone opinion and that you highly disagree with him, you feel like you want to insult him or be aggressive in your reply, take a quick break and try to understand the other person point of view, there is reason why that person think that way, and once understanding them you will be able to understand that person point of view.
Of course you still disagree, but now that you have identified the person reason, you should be way more calm. Begin replying to that person expressing your true feeling and your true opinion. Explain to them politely why you disagree with them. Also, you will have to deal with really agressive user that will reply to you with hate even if you remain polite and try to have a good exchange of idea. To try to prevent that, you can be diplomatic! By showing to the person that you respect his opinion, he will feel less attacked and might be less aggressive. Being diplomatic is hard and imply knowing how to correctly say things, for example instead of simply refute their argument, you can lead the person to questioning themselves. But those are just method to try and ease thing, you will probably get better at being diplomatic with time.

But what do you do if the person is still rude and still aggressive in their reply? Well like I said, you can ignore their reply and move on, but you can also reply to them as a final reply the truth:
That you think that their attitude is stopping a good exchange and that their behaviour anger/sadden you. Of course you remain polite and neutral while doing it, replying aggressively will only make thing worse.
By following those step you will interact better with other, you will avoid rage and keep a clear mind.
Also, since you stay calm and remain polite, the other person as more chance to agree with you since you're not aggressive, and even if the person is still rude, all other people reading the reply will give more respect to your point since you were respectful and calm, a double effect that is positive!

Being kind

Now that you know how to control your anger, you can work toward becoming a friendlier person.
You're not forced to, it's already a really good thing that you worked on anger, but now that you rage less, becoming kind is fairly easy since there is many way to do it!

Taking time to make thread and express good content or solution to problem will always be good, the best example I have at the moment is this thread, making thread like this one that try to solve problem is really good! If they are well thought they will be appreciated. Good well tought content can be about how to solve issue on the server, or simply how to help others! This bring me to the next point and one of the most important aspect of being kind!

Help other, while it seem simple, there many ways of doing that! The most obvious is to answer question, and don't worry if you don't know the answer you can always respond that you don't know! Helping other to understand is obviously kind! But there tons of other way, for example you can provide advice to a friend or a player, advice are always a good thing, this thread is an example, I'm trying to provide advice to many of you that might want to become better person! There tons of way to give advice and help, by making thread and by answering question or even sometime by giving advice to a friend!

Become respectful, it's simple, respect others. I use this general rule: Insulting is never justified.
Even if someone is insulting you, hacking, using unfair kit and strategy, control yourself and don't lower yourself to the point of insulting, it won't make thing better and will simply hurt other feeling or make them hurt you more. Just stop insulting, it's a good way to be really kind!

Thanking everyone, making other feel better, giving good suggestion and content, providing advice and help, respecting others and many other thing will make you a kind person, of course nobody is perfect and everyone make mistake, but working to improve is always a good thing!

Being kind and controlling anger will make ItsJerryAndHarry better for everyone, it will create a better community, allow more fun and respect, it will make other respect you and build yourself a good reputation. It literally provide tons of advantages! Improving on ItsJerryAndHarry will also help you in real life, there really no reason not to try to improve!

With only <3 and respect, Motofreakz

 

Tell your people at hypickle that we are doing just fine over here at itsjerryandharry.

 

Real kidness comes from the heart not copy and pasting :/

 

Don't forget Mineplex.
:>

 

Agreed.
Also, I found this. Nice way to copy.
http://hypixel.net/threads/a-complete-guide-to-become-kind.185830/
We here are doing just fine as YFI said. And, I'm pretty sure that people here use common sense most of the time, we're pretty friendly people if you ask me. I respect you coming here trying to "clean us up" but we do have a set of guidelines and staff that are able to handle things. :p

 

Are you aware that the majority of the people on the server who are, I guess you can say, rude, do not have a forums account and will not see this post. Most of the forum members are already nice too. The ones who are mean? We take care of them ourselves, staff or no staff. They either leave or change themselves, not by the help of a guide. For those who are somewhat veterans and are reading this post, take @Hugz for an example. Everyone hated him, but he eventually learned from his mistake, and he is actually pretty nice. As YFIOTR said, we are fine here at ItsJerryAndHarry :)

 

Although this is a post for the better of our community, we (the staff) notice this post was copied and pasted and not even written by you from the Hypixel forums. We're fine over here in ItsJerryAndHarry, we don't need no one to hold our hands. We like to stay orginal unlike some servers...(sips tea) Also we have our own set of rules on which do not make air reportable for common sense logistics. Please don't try to shows "the way" we are original. Also for those players who think just because Hypixel does it means we have to do it too no stop it -smacks in the face- you can always leave us and go to Hypixel you all know who you are and I know who you all are -evil smirk-. If Hypixel thinks it can change Jerry and Harry, for themselves well that's absurd. At the moment there is no rules against players trying to force rules from other servers into ours BUT if those people begin to disrupt the flow of our server punishments will be served. After all if Hypixel wants to battle with ItsJerryAndHarry I may speak for all of our server and say we're ready for battle. Now i'll close this because our people are not stupid and know this will only close problems. I'll also await more changing threads, after all they're all "wonderful" ideas.

For now

 

First of all, no one wakes up in the morning thinking, "Who am I going to harass today?".
Nor does it take a guide for someone to know that telling someone to go f*** themselves is wrong.

Second, People here are helpful all the time, and I can guarantee that they are more helpful here than they are at Hypixel.

Here at Jerryandharry we go by are own code, and it is a unique code that no other server could ever follow. Trying to change things here only results in failure. People will shoot down what you have to say and reject change.

Third, dealing with stress is something that we learn in school not forums for a Minecraft server.

Fourth, next time you copy and paste paragraphs, make it something that's actually worth reading, because this was not worth anyone's time.

In fact, nothing that is copy and pasted is worth anyone's time. At Itsjerryandharry, we pride ourselves on originality.


Please don't go barging in to other's communities and expect people to change.

Good day to you.