What. The. F*ck.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic / Spam / Memes' started by Wheatley, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. Wheatley

    Wheatley Shrek

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    I just got this on Skype today.
    [4:08:35 PM] *** Ahulu Benjamin would like to add you on Skype

    From Auditing and Account
    Bank Manager
    United Bank Of Africa(UBA)
    Accra Ghana.

    I am sorry to contact you unannounced through this medium.I am a staff in one of the UBA Bank Accra Ghana. I am writing following an opportunity in my office that will be of benefit to both of us. I have in my bank $5.5 million,(Five million five hundred thousand Us Dollars) that belongs to my late customer Mr.Hosking Wheatley, who happen to have the same last name with you (Wheatley )and nationality, unfortunately lost his life in the Tsunami disaster in Thailand 2004, including his wife and two of his daughters. Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his partner or relatives to come for the claim of the fund, it unfortunately no one has come for the claim of the fund since my late customer died.

    I want you to stand as the next of kin to the deposited fund of my late customer Mr.Hosking Wheatley as both of you have the same last name,I decided to make this business with you since nobody is coming for it and i don't want this money to go into the Bank's account for their selfish use as the fund is yet unclaimed.

    The banking law and guidelines here stipulates that if such funds remained after ten years the money will be transferred into the bank account for their selfish use, as unclaimed fund. This fund will be of a great help or assistance to me and you as the bank releases the total fund to you,We are going to share the percentage equally, Your share will be 50% and my own will be the same as soon as the bank releases the total fund to you.

    Please note that all necessary arrangement for the smooth release of these deposited fund to you has been finalized.I will discuss more in details when I do receive your response. kindly reply through my private email () or send me your email address so i can send more details to you via email.

    Best regards,

    Mr Ahulu Benjamin
    Mobile Number:
    Email:
    I got rid of the email and number, but what. The. Fuck.
     
  2. Gooby

    Gooby ミCutie彡 Donator

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    Ahulu seems like a cool guy
     
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  3. KokichiOma

    KokichiOma Ultimate Supreme Leader Donator

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    Unprepossessing (MappyTurtle)
    YOU MISSED OUT 5.5mil...
    WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?



























    Jk. But you really should've said a fake email or something.
     
  4. spykethevictini

    spykethevictini Donator

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    I don't think any real professional in charge of 5.5 million dollars would ever be like "Hmm... This guy and his family died and left 5.5 million dollars... WHERE'S THE NEAREST PERSON WITH HIS LAST NAME? TIME TO GET RICH!!!11!"

    Also, I think it would be illegal to not give the money to the bank.
     
  5. adjustingingredients

    adjustingingredients (◐‿◑) Donator

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    them spambots xD

    eh, i keep getting the one that keeps telling me I'll be 'surprised' about what's on her camera feed and asks me whether I like blondes or brunettes better xD
     
  6. Lethalities

    Lethalities Donator

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    I'll take that money *cough* I feel sorry for Wheatley
     
  7. QueenAngel32

    QueenAngel32 I'm up ❤

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    What the...
     
  8. Fluttershy's Assassin

    Fluttershy's Assassin

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    At least it wasn't a sex-cam person lol
     
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  9. Marina

    Marina

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    WTF.... Couldn't be, They lost 0.22% of investing..
    Urstadt Biddle Properties Inc
    NYSE: UBA - 3 Dec 4:06 pm ET
    22.310.05 (0.22%)
     
  10. animalzzz

    animalzzz Viking

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    You lucky guy!!! I hope you obviously accepted the 5.5 million!
     
  11. Bl4ckThunder5

    Bl4ckThunder5 #ClassicalMusicFTW

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    Dood... dem 5.5 mill
     
  12. GummyBean

    GummyBean Donator

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    you know I've been.. tight on funds.. the whole ya know.. melting artic.. think you can give me idk.. 3.2mil? ;)
     
  13. Wheatley

    Wheatley Shrek

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    I hope you're joking. I know a Nigerian scam when I see one.
    EDIT: I went SquishyGrapeCheese on him.
    My late customer, Le Lenny face, got rabies from a kangaroo the other day. His goat cheese must be deposited to someone so I decided the 50 cents worth of goat cheese could go to you. Just send me your mango box and your hourglass dispenser and we're set.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2014
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  14. animalzzz

    animalzzz Viking

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    Do you even sarcasm bro?
     
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  15. Xandalf

    Xandalf Donator

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    Once a spambot contacted me on Skype telling me to go to a website to see their breasts, all I'd need to do was enter my bank account information to verify my age,
    Seems legit.
     
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  16. Wheatley

    Wheatley Shrek

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    This is no spambot, this is a Nigerian scammer.
     
  17. Xandalf

    Xandalf Donator

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    Those Nigerian scammers with their millions of dollars.
     
  18. pandaness123

    pandaness123 Minecraft Rulz

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    If you dont want the money ill take it. But seriously bro 5.5 million you'll be stinking rich if i were u i would of contact the guy already.
     
  19. adjustingingredients

    adjustingingredients (◐‿◑) Donator

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    I'm not sure if that's sarcasm, if it isn't, facepalm.
     
  20. Xandalf

    Xandalf Donator

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    Here, have a gif
    [​IMG]
     
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