Why Fairy Tales Are Seriously messed Up (Part Two)

A while back, I made a thread about some dark original versions of fairy tales that few people knew about. It included classic stories like "Little Red Riding Hood", "Cinderella", and "Sleeping Beauty". However, not everyone knows that Red ate her grandmother, Cinderella's sisters cut off parts of their feet, and Sleeping beauty was sexually violated in her sleep. For more on those stories and some others, click this link:
http://www.itsjerryandharry.com/threads/why-fairy-tales-are-seriously-messed-up.11295/
I recently discovered a few more dark fairy tale origins, and rather than revive an old thread, I decided to make a new one. So, hold onto your childhoods because they may very well be ruined. Ready, go!

The Pied Piper, by the Brothers Grimm:
The typical version of the stories is about a man in colorful clothing who funtions as a town's exterminator. He uses music from his pipe to rid the town of rats. When the townspeople refuse to pay him, however, he rids the town of children. He lures them to a dark cave to hold for ransom, doing who-knows-what to them, and the only children remaining were a cripple who couldn't keep up, and a deaf boy who couldn't hear the music.
That in itself is pretty dark. However, in the even darker version, the children face the same fate as the rats. They're lured into a river and drowned. Once again, the cripple and deaf boy are spared, and the Pied piper gets his money. I guess it is sort of a happily ever after.

Goldilocks and the Three bears, by Robert Southey:
This story always bothered me, because I get mad when people touch and use my stuff without asking, and felt bad for the bears. The story is of a little ratchet ass girl named Goldilocks, with the most fly blonde weave you ever saw. She breaks into the home of these anthropomorphic bears and eats their food, breaks their furniture, and sleeps in their beds. When the bears get home, she wakes up and runs out the door.
The version(s) I'm going to share with you don't let her off so easy. In version one, she jumps out the window and snaps her neck upon landing. In version two, the bears just maul her and sprinkle her bits in their porridge. Mmm...human bits...

Hansel and Gretel, by the Brothers Grimm:
This story also always bothered me. It scarred me. But now that I'm older and know that witches aren't real, I really felt sorry for her. If these two kids showed up and started eating my house(if my house were edible), I'd be really f**king pissed. Though, what the witch did was a bit extreme. Fattening a kid up to eat and forcing the other into slavery is horrible. She should've just made them cook enough candy bricks to fix the hole in the wall. The witch gets her karma, though, and gets pushed into the oven.
In the even darker version, it's not a witch at all. The children stumble upon a blood red house, not a candy one, and are let in by a woman who happens to be the Devil's wife. She bore a striking resemblance to Kim Kardashian. Satan planned to eat the children, and built a sawhorse to kill them. From what I infer, a sawhorse is something the kids were supposed to climb and sit on, and then bleed out on. Gretel pretended not to know how to get on, and the Devil demonstrated. He obviously died, and the kids slit his wife's throat.

The Girl With No Hands, by the Brothers Grimm
Damn the Brothers Grimm were f**ked up...This story isn't very popular. It's of a man who promises the Devil whatever is behind his windmill in exchange for money. He thought only an apple tree was there, but instead his daughter was there, MILLING AROUND(teeheehee). The Devil is unable to take her, though, as she is too pure to touch. So he threatens to take the father instead unless she lets her dad cut off her hands. She does.
In another version, she cuts off her whole arms to make herself unappealing to her brother who wishes to rape her. That was dumb, since it would just make rape easier. In another version, again she cuts off her hands to stop her father from having sex with her. Again, not going to help.

Beauty and the Beast, by Jeanne-Marie Le Prince de Beaumont
Belle trades her freedom for her father's, and is held hostage by a hideous beast. We all know that, I hope.
When let loose, Belle promises to return to the Beast on a certain day. But her sisters know this, and jealous of her fancy clothes from the beast, ask her to stay an extra day in the hopes that the Beast will eat her out of rage. Belle agrees, but ends up going back to the beast having died of heartbreak. When he comes back to life, he nearly kills her. Also, there was no singing furniture in the original.

So those are the dark fairy tales I have to share(for now). Some honorable mentions:
Pinocchio, by Carlo Collodi: At one part, wood peckers are called in to chisel his nose back to normal size(ouch)
Frozen-I MEAN The Snow Queen, by Hans Christian Andersen: At the beginning, shards of a magic mirror hit a boy named Kai right in the eyes(Let it go-I MEAN ouch)

The End

 

Wow old tales have such dark writing did u know that this goes for humpty dumped and the baby tree wind thing too think about it in Humpty dumpy its about
a talking egg from the mid evil times who sits on a wall falls of and died and the line All the kings knights and men couldn't put him back together again mean there doctors couldn't save him and he died

dark nursery rhyme #2

i forgot the name but this is about a baby who was left in a tree (TARZAN!!!) lol jk falling out and probably dyeing :P HOWS THIS THE #1 NURSERY RHYME WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THERE BABIES TO HERE GORY STUFF

 

In Humpty Dumpty, they never, not once, say that he was an egg. An egg didn't crack, a man presumably fell and broke every bone in his body beyond repair. What kind of sicko would name their son Humpty, I don't know.

 

Hump.
;)

 

I actually like these versions better.

 

O_o
#ChildhoodRuined(Ifyou're6)

 

Oh wow. xD