IceCuddly's letter to J&H

Discussion in 'General Discussion / Real life stuff' started by Dest, Aug 15, 2020.

  1. Dest

    Dest Mod+ | Twitch Streamer | Perler Beads Artist Staff Member Mod+

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    (I’m posting this for @IceCuddly since she asked me to do that, so here it goes.)


    Hello,

    This is Icy. If you are reading this, by some fucking miracle I didn't die. I'm guessing you have more questions, I can answer.

    So, I'm guessing some of you have noticed a change in my behaviour, my mood, I've not been as full of hugs, and I appologise for that.

    Most people know what job I used to do, but I fell ill, I have always been ill, See when I was 5, I was attacked and as a result I only had 1 lung, but due to the pandemic, and being very vulnerable and stubborn as hell and not taking time off work, I caught covid. My already dying lung that would have killed me at 40 anyway, was disintergrating. They couldn't fix it. Well they could, but the fix was to fill the lung with liquid antibiotics and it dosen't take a genius to work out that would have drowned me. So I went on a transplant list, and those that know me, know I hate that thought, but I went on the list and got one.

    So on friday the 14th of August at 7 pm, I had a new lung in. Having a new lung in, not only could save me, also means that I can never be a doctor again, as I will be immuno compromised for a long time, possibly the rest of my life.

    A bit of interesting fact? With a new lung they can try to save my old one. I'm not sure I wanted that, for the last few months I have been coughing up nothing but dead lung fragments, if anyone is curious, they don't really taste of anything.

    I have never been so lucky, and that scares me, but I am grateful, I'll be in the hospital for a while, but I might be able to join with ChatCraft towards the end of the week. The chances of me surviving this... Well I had a 15% chance of dying on the table. I'm not out of the woods, there is; infection, rejection, complications, brusing, emboli's.

    Its worth it, apparently, I've always wondered, if it is heavy to have two lungs? Do you feel the difference in air quality? I'm curious, I'm hoping I can answer those questions one day soon.

    The reason I have not been around before the operation is complicated, and I want to bring this partially to light. Some of my close friends know the in's and out's, but not everyone needs to know.

    A certain issue on sunday/monday, caused me to be rushed to hospital and I had a few cardia episodes that caused me to be in overnight. It was caused be someone, and no I won't say who, but I honestly don't think I will ever forgive them,

    They potentially cut my life expectancy in half, and for that? There is no forgiveness.


    I am excited though, there are things I can do now that I couldn't before. I can scuba dive, I love the sea and swimming! I've always liked to sing, even tho I'm very shit, but now I could take lessons or join a group and learn to sing proper like. I can now offically go on a trampoline. I know I know, I've gotten to 20 and never been on one, its too risky, the air pressure changes could cause me to faint, it was never worth the risk. I am most excited for this one. Clearly the child I am xD

    I have also wanted to swim the channel. I still can't, but now I am stronger, I could possibly do it in a swimming pool and raise money for a charity. And many more things I'm sure I will find!

    I want to say thank you, and that I love you. This server is like a family to me. I mean it, not in a corny way but, I only have my grandparents and an estranged aunty and a few cousins. Since my broher died, I have never really felt home, and this server? It feels like home to me, like I am all the way back where I belong.

    We have our scwabbles and fights like all families, but we do love each other really. I never want that to change. I love you all! Some more than others, and 1 more than all <3.

    Thank you Dest for posting this, you are like a big sister to me, I do not know where I'd be without you.

    To Cir and Squishy and Turttles, thank you for supporting me and being in my life and making me happy, I love you all, my cloest friends ever.

    And to Ahmeet... Does it need to be said? l love you too.

    I hope to see you all soon.

    Love and hugs always.

    Icy
     
  2. keremalguul

    keremalguul Staff Member Moderator

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  3. bor4

    bor4 ex-Mod Donator

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    Icy has always been a very sweet girl. She does not attack anyone, she is respectful and very mature girl. I met Icy thanks to Ahmet and she might be the most innocent girl I've ever seen. @IceCuddly if you're reading this, I want you to know this: Ahmet always talked to me about you. He said he loved you very much and was afraid. He said he was afraid of losing you. I have never seen Ahmet so sad before. He cares a lot for you my girl and Ahmet is waiting for you to wake up and join us again. Wants to be able to talk and spend time with you again, he loves you very much (:

    Also we would love to see you among us again. We want to see Icy embracing everyone again. We want to see you reading this in a healthy way again. We are here and waiting for you. Keep resting and thinking about your health.

    We love you and we hug you big <3
    IJAH Members.
     
  4. Soso

    Soso cringe Donator

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    Long message Imbound lol:


    I met icy in November of last year, not ages I know but honestly she has been like family to me and to us all tbh. The way we met proves how nice she is. We met when I asked if anyone had slime spawners on creative and she gave one to me for free! We started just chatting and she gave me a tour of her island. Her island had a water park, tents for all her friends, dogs, a castle. It was like heaven. I remember one of the first things I gave her was a my attempt of making the letter K on a banner. Seen as it didn't work I kept that banner in my echest and gave it to her on her birthday this year.

    Since that day Icy and I really like clicked lol. She built a mansion on my island, I told her about apex selling horses and helped her transport them to her island. We had a Christmas party as well in December. Me, Icy and 2 other people had prepared gifts and put them under the Christmas tree on my island. We made minigames and ate lots of cake. Twas a very fun day!

    Icy has told me story and she has truly had it the worst possible. But she always did the best. One thing that sticks out for me was when she worked in a school for a month or 2. She couldn't work in the NHS at this point so she started to work at a special needs school. She got the most difficult to teach students to work. She got the most disgusting drama and fights broken up. She is honestly the best.

    Thank you icy for being the best friend I ever have had. For all the times we've laughed together, cried together and smiled together. I'm just glad all of this is finally over for you and you can finally go on a TRAMPOLINE we're going to a trampoline Park believe me that is happening and I'll get you that KFC lol.

    Stay safe Icy and soldier through this last ounce of shit because once you've gotten through the 15 years or so of fatty icing you get to the 70 years of cake xD

    Love ya
     
  5. Dest

    Dest Mod+ | Twitch Streamer | Perler Beads Artist Staff Member Mod+

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    Okay, so I'm not that good with words, not like Soso, but I'll try my best anyway.

    Hey Icy, now that you need time to recover, you got plenty of time to read all of the comments made on this thread.
    I know we don't know each other for so long yet, but I wanted to say this anyway.

    You are an amazing person. You say you are not worth of having good things happen in your life. Sorry, but that is bullshit.
    After everything you've been through, you deserve nothing else but happiness.
    You're always ready to help other people, even when you can't help yourself or if you are in a shit situation.

    Don't ever tell me again that you're not worth fighting for, because girl... You are amazing, just the way you are (cheeky quote from that 1 song, I don't care :P)

    You are strong, you are kind, you are friendly, you are great, you are amazing, etc. And we all love you a lot.

    And anyone who tells you otherwise, can go screw off. They clearly don't know you like we do and that's fine. They don't need to know, as long as the people you truly care about, know.

    I don't know how else to put my thoughts into words, but you know how I feel about you and you know that I will always be there for you if you need me, just like you are there for me.

    We love you Icy,
    I wish you a speedy recovery <3

    - Dest
     
    IceCuddly, bor4, Turrtles and 5 others like this.
  6. VividIllusion

    VividIllusion circumcisers/VividIllusion

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    Thank the higher powers above that your surgery went well! I am soooo relieved :) I pray that you continue to recover soon and back into good health so we can meet and do all the swimming, singing and trampoling youve missed out on : D. Focus on your recovery now, we all need you to come out strong!
    You've been nothing but kind to me and the people you know, even through the hard times and im so sorry that youve had to experience the horrors life can bring, that no one should ever have to face. But this is the start of a new leaf that has turned, with lots to enjoy and experience :)

    You are the kindest most amazing person ive ever met <3 and I say that with a genuine heart, for this I just know you will recover fine, the world owes it to you, you deserve all the good in the universe and more.

    We all love you ice, I love you!
    lots of love and hugs now and when you come back <333333

    I was never good at english and I dont know how to put my relief and joy into words, but there a try :)
     
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  7. sava

    sava Donator

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    Glad your surgery went well this can be the start of doing stuff you couldn’t do before, you’re honestly the kindest person I’ve ever met understanding and chill person. Praying for your recovery - Walah
     
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  8. Turrtles

    Turrtles Staff Member Mod+

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    When I heard the news that you were okay, I don't think I've ever been so relieved and happy in such a long time.

    Icy, there's no other way to put this but you have always proven to be that one friend I could always rely on no matter what the situation may be. You are always an upbeat bubbly person I know I can reach out to you about anything without the fear of judgement or rejection.

    When we called for the first time the other day, words can really not express how much I felt for you and wanted you to know that I am also here for you in the same way you were there for me. A lot of people on this server don't know who I am or hear me speak for long amounts of time but something about you is so special that I knew it was safe to open up to you. I would never have thought about calling you or speaking out loud for hours with you if I didn't think for one second you were a genuine person. I feel guilty that I wasted a lot of time to get to this point with you where we can have more elaborate talks through voice chat but you have shown me with such enthusiasm and with a positive mindset what our friendship means to you and that's not something I get to see every day. Know that I'm always always always one message away, and I'm looking forward and feeling optimistic to what the future holds for us and our friendship.

    I'm trying to avoid talking about the surgery itself but I have to say I genuinely prayed my heart out to you during those tense hours and I'd do it all over again even if it makes the slightest difference. Truth is, I don't know what I'd do and where I'd be right know if things went differently and that's how much you mean to me and everyone else.

    Please never think for a split second you mean nothing to anybody because I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that it is:
    Lastly, know that no matter what you look like, sound like or what conditions your lifestyle may contain, I will never let that influence anything. Your personality is unmatched in your own unique way and for that you deserve the upmost respect. I will always be your friend and I will be there to remind you every step of the way what a stunningly beautiful and amazing person you are inside and out no matter how hard you try to convince yourself you're not worthy. I'm honestly crying just writing this message because I've found a true friend within you Icy, and I feel like I could keep writing forever about your wonderful traits and personality as a whole.

    Here is just a quoted post that I felt the need to reiterate because it is a true and important message and I'm not always the best at words as well and I couldn't say this better myself:

    We love you, Icy <3

    By the way, when we are able to meet up no matter how far away that is, we will get ourselves those iced coffees and celebrate together <3.
     
    IceCuddly, ItsKaos, bor4 and 6 others like this.
  9. iGhostify

    iGhostify Sipping RedBull is delight. Donator

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    we are always here for you icy, we are glad it all went well and for soso keeping us updated was really good of him, aint really known you for long but you are already a close friend to me and always will , and are really glad you can persue some of your dreams that you
    couldnt of done, cant wait to see you next - ImoutsideTesco / Ighostify
     
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  10. Apex_SkyShadow

    Apex_SkyShadow My Doggo & Pupper = Best Doggo & Pupper Combo Staff Member Mod+

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    Holy shit... and here I thought my having pneumonia 8 times compromised my lungs. We are all here for you, anything you need. I have no doubt you will make a full recovery and be able to jump on a trampoline for as long as you like, just make sure you take the time to get a full recovery. The staff team, the playerbase, we will all be here with open arms for when you return.
     
    IceCuddly, ItsKaos, bor4 and 6 others like this.
  11. hamnah

    hamnah Hannah Donator

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    We’ve not gotten to know each other much but I am sending you lots of hugs + love!! I cant imagine how rough and scary this has been for you, and I hope that everything goes well with your recovery. ❤️
     
    IceCuddly, ItsKaos, Turrtles and 6 others like this.
  12. ItsKaos

    ItsKaos Premium Donator

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    What to say about icy? I haven't known icy that long, but i can say that from the time that i've been talking to her (and you guys don't understand how happy i am to not have to say talked to) and i have to say that she is one of the most purest people i have ever known. In the time i've been talking to her, i've developed very strong feelings for her, which i hope she will soon return, as she was hesitant to do because of her situation. If you are reading this, icy, i'm so so happy that i can continue to tell you that i love you. Hope to talk to you soon.
     
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  13. Siere

    Siere Donator

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    I’m very glad that your surgery was successful, you are one of the kindest and most unproblematic people I’ve seen on the server, of all people you don’t deserve this.
    Wishing you the best recovery possible,
    Siere
     
  14. Rob

    Rob Donator

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    You were my inspiration for wanting to come back to the staff team. Every time I saw you online, you were always sending your love and hugs to a friend or to someone new and even though those weren't directed at me, I still felt better knowing that people like you exist in this world. Reading this truly shocked me and I cannot even fathom what going through all of that must feel like from a personal or outside perspective. I'm very sure you know that your family, friends, J&H community members, are here for you, wishing you a magnificent full recovery. We love you and only want what's best for you in any given situation and will try our best to help you every step of the way. Knowing that you have these kinds of people to lean onto either them being online or in real life, really makes you feel better inside, the same way I felt seeing you send your love and hugs to everyone.

    We love you and wish you a safe/full recovery.
     
  15. Soso

    Soso cringe Donator

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    Guys stop replying I can't cry and harder
     
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  16. Disphxrial

    Disphxrial Donator

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    I know you don't know who I am but I would like to say that this could have not made me cry any harder, as this hit more close to home to me than I expected it to. My aunt had an aggressive autoimmune disease which made her need to get a double lung transplant. Five years post-op she caught para-influenza and passed away this January due to rejection of her lungs. You are such an inspiration in more ways you could possibly know, and I'm so fucking proud of you for making it through this. You are so so strong and I wish you the the safest and fastest recovery possible. This community loves you so deeply and we're so happy you're here to stay.
     
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  17. IceCuddly

    IceCuddly

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    Omg guys, I'm crying. I love you all! This means so much and I had no idea I meant so much. I had my lung tap out this morning, and I am going to get to keep my original lung and am finally being allowed to sit up! I miss my family (you lot) like crazy. I slept nearly 30 hours after the surgery and am out of the woods for the rejection and initial surgerical infection. Love and hugs always. Icy

    As you have always said :)

    Thank you so much squishy!


    I look forward to giving out love and hugs again too! Thank you ☺

    Omg so much cake! I feel like I have known you my whole life.

    I have always wanted a sister and im so glad its you

    I owe you a debt dest, i know i asked a lot and i am forever greatful for this. Thank you

    Always yupac, anything you want :)

    Hey cir, i look forward to hugs, please try and stay out of trouble for me

    Thank you, this was a pleasent surprise which i loved

    I promised you i'd always be here, I know you can't always keep promises but I will keep that one. I will see you soon my wifey ❤

    Thank you tesco :) i hope to be back to normal soon.

    Thank you apex, i will send hugs your way upon my return. Im sorry to hear about your peunomia, we can be bad lung buddies

    I receieve your love and hugs, and send many back at you!

    Thank you :) lots of hugs

    I will save some love and hugs for you and attack you with them on my return. I promise


    Yeah this took me a few goes, i cried lotss

    I would like to know you, the more the merrier i say, come get hugs! Im sorry for your aunt and wish you peace.


    Thank you all, I will keep you updated on major things, if all continues to go smoothly and I will be allowed to try and walk soon, maybe then i can say if having 2 lungs is heavier so far it feels smiliar, only when i roll onto one side im not struggling to breath from a crumpled chest, which is a great feeling. I love you all, speak soon hopefully! Hugs, Icy

    EDIT

    So i walked today, did really well actually, and only needed the walker to start with. HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO 2 LUNGS?!?! Its like im high on oxygen, it feels so strange and heavy and like I dunno how to blance, its pitiful, but Its a strange feeling I feel strongee and more sure of myself and its like learning to breath again! Anyway I am in high spirits, I think a mixture of lovely oxygen and relief

    EDIT 2

    Guess who is being discharged tomorrow!! MEEE. Mostly coz im doing well and im annoying xD but partly coz they have just had an outbreak of covid at the hospital, nearly 80 cases, so they wanna move me as I'm vulnerable. Here's to ateast 6 months of self isolating, sorry server but your stuck will all my love and hugs


    FINAL EDIT
    I AM HOME!! I gotta go back every 2 weeks for as long as they decide, just to keep an eye on me and stuff, might be back on server tonight, not sure tho. Most likely tomorrow, looking forward to being back where I belong and giving lots of hugs once more <3
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2020
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