Dankrocynical Rant: Fitting in on the forums.

Spoiler: Disclaimer

This is my opinion, and I give you FULL PERMISSION to dislike this. Not everyone is gonna agree with this, you may hate this from the bottom of your heart, or you may adore this from the bottom of the sea, but I can't say anything on your behalf. Also, please do not start a flame war below, I will give any staff member full permission to delete comments I, or they see as harmful.

Well, hey guys. It's Dankrocynical, back after a break, and from having a thread removed due to "innapropriate content.". I'm not gonna get into it as that will spiral me into more trouble with staff. But anyway, today I'm gonna go on something a little bit different that has troubled me for a month, and it's the flow to popularity on the forums. And no, this isn't because I'm self-pittying my 550 or so likes altogether on the forums, and I want to brag to my friends how I'm one cool bundle of the screams of the dying online, it's because I want to spark a little bit of change on how people maintain popularity-

SO YOU'RE DOING IT FOR THE LIKES HUH?!

In a way, yes, you could say that, but it's also just plain frustration. So, without further a do, enjoy reading a "nobody" on the forums speaking about how to become popular.

Spoiler: Music.

Guess if I'm gonna break this into segments then I'll need some type of backround music that all the youtubers use. Well, cue the music. . Oh wait, this is ORIGINAL music.

The Profile Photo.
Well, hello friend, cousin, brother, mother, any other. Welcome to the IJAH forums, the place were about.... 0.1% of the minecraft youtube magic happens.... Y-yeah! Woo...

Anyway, what I've noticed from everyone who has racked up the likes is that they all have one thing in common.
Fan art.
For example, look at the most liked people, they have some type of anime character style fanart from their favourite show, or some fox or whatever they like, it's legit the same, so of course, since I'm one cool person, I made my own.

Great, AM I RIGHT!

Status.
Okay, next up, your status. Well, put something funny on there, right? NO. Put the motto you live your life by. Wow u ugly nerd who does that u shuld be ashamed. Now that you're depressed for the day, make a depressing quote, such as:
"Stop asking if I'm okay.... I'm tired of lying...."
(I understand fully if you've been through a really rough patch, and you're allowed to feel that, but it seems a bit too repetitive, and it gets on my nerves at times. I won't post examples because chances are people won't relate to them.)
And then, the comment string of "Are you okay?" on Skype, /fr, and PMs, which is casually responded with.
"No."
"Why."
"I don't want to say."
(Yet again, if something personal has happened and you really don't wanna say, don't. And don't let yourself be forced into saying it either.)
Saying that won't help it at all.
Well, now you're depressed, try making a quote of your own....
"The Milk in my cheerios went bad.... Cyanide, Concentrated Jacob Sartorius and Duck Bleach are my only options left in life..."
SPOT ON!

Threads.
Alright! We're halfway to becoming a popular kid on the forums, well done mate! Excellent job. Now, your threads.
Well, what do we post about, What you post I wonder? Take note children, these fine examples shall begin your rise to fame.


1. Exposed thread (Joke.)
2. Forum Game.
3. Parodying a "Cyberbully Youtuber." eg: Keemstar, Pyrocynical, GradeAUnder- Oh wait.
4. A thread for no reason, but you need to be popular first, if you do it while you're a nobody, you should BE ASHAMED!
(As I said, this is a parody.)
Examples:
Hey guys, today we're exposing @KiritomatoJoe for watching Father Ted! For example, look at his profile pic, it's Father Dougal Maguire!!! OH MY GOD, EXPOSED!!!!

2. Hey guys, the aim of the game is to keep this going for as long as possible, it's called slap the person above you.

3. Oh... Alright... Hi, how are you guys, my name is JoeyIsAHoey, also known as LeafyIsHere.

4. I ate some toast today. It was nice.
pls liek 4 ur new mazzerati.
UNBELIEVABLE GEOFF!


FACE REVEALS.
Well, you've made it this far, congratulations, you have a brave warrior within you! YOU ARE.... A SOCIAL KEYBOARD WARRIOR THINGY-MA-BOB OF THE IJAH FORUMS!
Yay.
Now, to make things a better masterpiece than a Pablo Picasso painting, let's go to the post a picture of yourself thread.
Now.
To be noticed, and half so many notifications, you must:
1. Have your hair dyed.
2. HAVE -W80368-086-862 Filter's on.
3. Have your upload's caption as: Well, I'm ugly, here you are guys!
4. Be a female.
5. Doggy filter.

WELL, TRY THE TIPS.

FANTASTIC!
Now, that concludes how to be popular on the forums. Pip-Pip! Cheerio, Buh-bye!

(I meant no harm to anyone in this thread, if you have any issues, please contact me in PMs.)
Joey.

 

Being popular is not whats important. Even if you have or don't have hundreds of likes that's OK. I wont look at you as a diffrent person because of that. You shouldn't try to be popular. If you wanna post go ahead and post. If you want to like or comment do it. The people that try to be popular are usually the people who get put down and there is not much of that on the forms anyways. We are all here to enjoy each others company and just have a good time. :)

 

Mate, this thread isn't finished, I accidentally published it by mistake, there's more to come as I re-edit it.But I see your point.

 

Ahhhh ok. Well this all makes since now lol. Just thought I would give my input anyways.

 

it's important. very. self-confidence exists on the internet too, you know

 

what? lol

 

Why don't you just let people do whatever they want? There are always people like you criticising the most ridiculous and unharmful things people do. Why do you even care if someone makes a joke thread exposing someone, or uploads pictures with filters... Don't you have anything else to be concerned by? C'mon.

About statuses, I get where you're coming from and why it kind of annoys you that people show others they aren't really happy, but you can't really know what they're going through. The best thing to do is to either help them if you care or just ignore it, I'm sure harm was none of their intentions.

I've seen threads like this one in the past and I frankly don't get what you guys are trying to do. Are you trying to make people change by making them look bad? :/

 

If you don't like, there's a thing called ignoring this it's quite easy as making a thread is alright but I don't see a point of you ranting about it, as what do you really think you'll earn? as people taking pictures of themselfs with a filter becuase they're finding it fun you don't want them to have fun or what? honestly this thread I don't see the point off other then causing drama and most of my opinions are said by the sexy man above me.

This guy says my words mostly.

 

"(I understand fully if you've been through a really rough patch, and you're allowed to feel that, but it seems a bit too repetitive, and it gets on my nerves at times. I won't post examples because chances are people won't relate to them.)"
"No."
"Why."
"I don't want to say."
^^^
Please Read.

Look, not trying to start a fight, but if expressing my opinion and experiences has the forums taken in like this, then maybe you should look at my thread more.

Do a bit more homework, I and look at what I've quoted above.

 

I'm not trying to start a fight either. I did read your post and I still don't understand the point of your thread. It's really easy to ignore it yet you still decided to make this sarcastic rant to show everyone how mad you are.

 

If you want to say mad, then okay, but no matter what point you say, I'm standing my ground. End of conversation.

 

Well, I mean, I, and other people, do look pretty cute as a (fe)male with a dog filter so I don't see what's wrong with it

 

Its not "bad" its just overused.

 

Does it hurt you or anything? I can't exactly tell if I fit into this kind of, I don't know, stereotypically popular kid on the forums, but I'm going to be on the defensive.

What's wrong with being popular on a Minecraft server forum? What's wrong with having fanart as profile pic? What's wrong with having a quote as status? What's wrong with doing stupid threads?

What I hate the most about this is that you claim to parody pyrocynical. I don't see how exactly this is like pyro? Pyrocynical makes videos about actual issues, not random shit that hurts no one.

I don't get the point of this thread either. Why complain about this? Like just why? What exactly is bad about it ? How is this a rant? You litteraly did a sarcastic tutorial and acted as if it was bad without explaining why its bad.

But im guessing you're complaining about this because you think people do this shit for attention, right? When you openly stated in your thread that you "somewhat did this for likes".

I don't know. Maybe I'm taking this a bit too seriously (it seems like a serious thread and I feel like it was directed towards me ). I'm sorry if this came off as rude. I'm just speaking my mind there

 

I come off as serious and sarcastic in this thread, and that's my genuine idea. I have no problem with popularity, it's just how people act to gain popularity that pisses me off. Also, I don't see Jacob Sartorius as a real issue (Even though he is complete shit.) and Pyro is like Leafy, but I'm gonna explain how, because it's self-explanatory putting them both side to side.

At the end of the day, I'll talk to you in PMs and explain the reason some of the popular group gets on my nerves. I despise it because it's annoying.

 

These jokes are unfunny. 0/10 worse than leafy.