"Today, I screwed up."

Based on a very popular subreddit, tell us all a story of a time you tried to do something, and everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. Or a day in your life that might as well have been an episode of a sitcom.

I have no stories that come to mind right now, but feel free to share yours.

 

family: "Okay, lets go eat breakfast."
*drives to supposed breakfast resturant
Dad:"It should be here somewhere around here, but I've never been here before."
Turns out it's on the other side of a highway.
We Eventually find a way to the other side of said highway and drive into the parking lot, aaand...

the resturant is closed

It's okay, we'll just make breakfast at home
*we drive back home*
well it looks like we literally had nothing to make breakfast, and it was almost 11:00 by this time, so we all just settled for Poptarts.

This happened a few weeks ago lol.

 

Today I tried taking an egg out of the carton and I snapped it in half.

I also was making mistakes when paying for shopping while mum was putting the basket away, like not pressing the pin numbers hard enough
\0/

However, I've done things like:

Turn on my dad's 4wd, reversed it into a shed, almost into my dad's friend, almost into friend's car, and into 2 of my dad's other cars. (I got sent inside to play playstation). oh, and my 3 year old brother was in the car. (he's almost 3 years younger than me)

Playing "sandwich" with my brother.

Spoiler: "sandwich"

So basically because my brother and I were retarded kids, we used to play this game where one would go and lie between two objects, usually pillows, and the other would sit, jump, roll, etc, on top of the pillows.
Basically a person sandwich.

He had two mattresses, and I was jumping on top, when a corner went through the window, and smashed it.

We were going home from Tasmania, and I lost my purse.
Which had my keys for my suitcase in there, at least I thought so.
Turns out I first lost my keys at the last stop, and left my purse on the bus. (I got the purse back)

 

I found condoms in our flatmates draw...

 

I was fooling around with my friends and using this Nerf crossbow I had to shoot them, one of the bullets in the clip got jammed in the thing that pushes the bullet forward so you're able to shoot. We had to take it apart to pull out the bullet
Needless to say, MANY internal parts fell out, including the clip secure lock. My mum yelled at me later on in the day, because that crossbow was fresh outta the box and it cost $35 AUD

 

When I was still inside my mom, I literlly almost killed myself. I almost screwed my life.

 

Why does this describe my life so perfectly?

 

Last year during my baseball season, we had one more practice until the games started. I had gotten a concussion earlier in the year, and still hadn't forgotten about it. Ever since that concussion, I kept telling myself that I got to be more careful when using my head in sports. At the end of this practice, our coach hit a pop fly that was behind me. I didn't think, and I did the wrong thing by back-peddling and fell right on my head backwards. I did catch the ball though, but ended up with a concussion that screwed me out of half our season. The lesson I learned, is think before you act, and try to be more careful.

 

When I was about 5, my brother and I were outside, and there was a bee on the window of the house. At the time, I was extremely scared of bees. So when I asked my brother to kill it, (he was 7 back then) he got a baseball bat and hit it while it was still on the window. ._.
We both got grounded.

Another time, my brother's friend was over, (Most of these involve my brother. He apparently likes getting me in trouble.) and he was a total douchebag... So, I was thinking about that, and instead of asking my mom when <my brother's friend's name> was going to leave, I asked when "the douchebag" was going to leave. I just... Laughed.

Last year in school, my friend and I were discussing the illuminati, for some weird reason... After that, we had to write something, and instead of writing what I was supposed to, I wrote "government secrets". I didn't even mean to. The bad thing was, I was writing in pen. It took me forever to cross it out enough so it wasn't visible.

I screwed up a lot, but I don't really want to list the other things.

 

I was flying my drone and this airplane came zooming fast was less then 100 feet away from crashing a drone into an airplane could killed so many :/

 

I loaded some supplies in a vehicle and while driving, I was sitting in the passenger's seat and a cockroach crawled out of one of the boxes so I picked it up with a tissue and attempted to throw it out of the window but the wind from the car moving made it fly back and land in my shirt.

 

when I kicked the blanket off the bed