Social Help/Kinda Ranty

(If you don't like reading about people's problems, you waste less time clicking backspace than you do whining about it.)

At my age, I'm expected to make friends and sustain healthy relationships with peers.

QUESTION

How the hell do you do that.

I need to make some friends ASAP, but I don't have much confidence when it comes to talking to people IRL. I struggle to say hi and if I want to ask somebody for their number, I'm very hesitant.

It doesn't really help that I don't like a lot of stuff a lot of people at my school are in to (snapchat, rap, skipping class, vine, etc.) and that I might be over-analyzing people's emotions (nearly every time I do talk to somebody I feel like they're silently telling me to screw off or faking interest.)

What do I do? How do I gain more confidence?
And please don't just say "Be yourself." That doesn't help at all.

 

Yea, I know that you shouldn't pretend to be someone you're not, but here is my advice,
pretend you like the things they're into (like snapchat, vine, etc.) Give it a try, it won't hurt you.
I don't suggest though that you get peer pressured into skipping class and all that, and really whoever does is that is lame, because why come to school in the first place?
To make more friends, start off by making one, then meeting their friends, and so on.
Ask your classmates too if they wanna be in a group project with you or if they wanna hangout sometime.
I think the problem is that you think people are gonna come to YOU.
Nope.
you have to go to THEM first.
Introduce yourself, ask about their music taste (best convo starter) and their social media accounts.

last thing, don't over-analyze people's emotions so much, like who cares what they think, its not a job interview lmao, there will always be someone else.
gl.

 

Try to find someone with at least 1 interest.

There's no use in being friends with people you won't get along with.
I don't have that many friends in real life but damn are they some real good friends.

It takes a bit.
It takes luck.
I met my two best friends through being the leftovers in class and meeting through other friends.
My first best friend, she's shy and we still have a lot of fun. I'm the loud "lmao joke here" person and she's the weird laugh funny insult reply.

Also treat potential friends like your friends here.
Aside from jokes, I don't differ much in real life.


or you can move to my school and be friends with me C:

 

Here is how i got my first friend and i was very shy and stuff.

Me: Hey i just met you and this is crazy lets be friends and do stuff maybe!

Them: Ok, This is kinda awkward but sure.

That actually happened it was awkward at first but now we are best friends and stuff.

You need to gain some confidence star if you had some i bet you wouldn't even be here and asking this question because you would have many friends online and offline.

You should also try and make new friends or try to talk to people near your age group, Like aren't you fifteen or sixteen try talking to some of those guys share interests maybe not that you play minecraft first of all but something like;

Star: Heyy guys whatsup, I like cheese, etc and i would love to know more about you guys!

Group of Friends: Okay, My name is bro brandon and i like to play videogames, This is an example but you should get the point.

You could do the exact opposite and just say all about yourself and that you want friends.

I see that you don't want to be yourself but would you really want to copy from someone else or impersonate something, You should always be yourself because that is who you will always be.

What i did to boost my confidence was to basically talk to myself and to other people online that i knew very closely i would normally put out a situation and ask them to go along, I now have a total of six friends and that number is crazy for me because i'm the kid who is always being put down, bullied, hurt and a lot of mean stuff that makes me want to commit.

I hope this helped.

 

Its easier to make friends with people who are new to your school, so try to talk with them. Usually, I would greet them, show them around the school and get to know a bit about them. Since my school is an international private school, a lot of people who are from all over the world come and go. When I was new, I took the opportunity to get to know the people, and I do the same to people who are new, this is how I'm friends with a lot of international people, such as Indians, Indonesians, French, Brazilian, Spanish etc.

 

Here's my advice. I had a hard time making some friends too, however, I looked for people with similar interests as mine.
For example, I do orchestra. I play the violin. I made some friends with some other violin players, and eventually some violas and etc. We all became good friends, and we're one big happy family. We're a squad. So, I suggest doing that.

I do not recommend pretending to like something you don't. Keep enjoying what you do, and find others with the same joys. Please don't pretend to be somebody you're not. It's not worth it.

 

spend less time on internet forums moaning about it and just be more relaxed with people. Find people you have things in common with and its easier to talk to them

 

Honestly man, are you really trying to sound like an idiot? You just contradicted yourself with the statements I bolded in the quote. You are telling her to leave a forum for social help, and to find people they similarities with. But forums are exactly for that reason. The same with social media, message programs, voice & video calls; and, ofcourse, the old-fashioned face-to-face chit chat.

Just wanted to point that blatant mistake in your logic out.

 

I hope you were being sarcastic when you said Morcov he was autistic, which he is not.

Secondly, you should not be insulting other forum members at all, flame wars are not allowed here. (I am a bit of a hypocrite my contributing to this, but I am simply trying to stop it, so don't accuse me of being one)

You told her to basically to spend less time on the forums because you told her so. That isn't right. One does not simply feel relaxed with people around them , that takes time and effort to do.

Also, on a neutral note, you should have PMed each other about this, instead of posting another reply on the thread.

And Cloudy, next time try not to demoralize the person asking for help.

I will ask you to edit your post so it sounds less insulting. Saying something like "stop spending time on the forums moaning about it" is not a way to approach it.
Instead, you could have said: "Maybe you should try spending less time here, and try to find people you have in things in common with, it might help you have an easier time talking to people :D"

(Note: That is still insulting, but it is the nicest way I could think to put it.)

 

I just had a fight with my school friendship group today.
I'm now going to spend lunchtimes in the bathroom by myself.
I think if I'm not good at friendships, I might as well not have any at all..

 

Excluding from what has happened above, all I can really say is, everyone on this forum is your friend (few exceptions).
I appreciate you posting this thread, but if you are looking to make friends TeamSpeak, if you do not already have. Many members are active there, none of us would mind talking to you! (You are not required to talk, obviously)
I am pretty sure you already do, but I highly recommend it if you do not.

Good luck on making friends in real life too! But feel free to make friends here also :)