Best Insults and Comebacks?

The wheelz on the bus go f%{*'¥'€<+§¥'¥ yourself

 

Sorry, I do not talk to people who have the same size of an IQ span as -

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omg how you find my shoes

Lel

 

Girl/Guy: *walks in hall*
Me: hey you dropped something.
Girl/Guy: what?
Me: your standards, hi I'm Pancho

 

I got a funny comeback.

Boy: I bet I could make you very happy.

Girl: Why? Are you leaving?

 

It's scary to think that people like you are allowed to breed.

Just because you're blonded doesn't mean you have to act like an idiot.

I never forget a face, but you're the only exception.

When I think of you my middle finger gets a boner.

Hey I just met you, you're looking crazy. What is your makeup? Crayola maybe?

"How much do you love me?"
"Count the stars."
"It's morning!"
"Exactly!"

Insult: Why are you so fat? Comeback: Because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.

I Googled "Who Gives a Shit?" My name wasn't in the results.

 

Bill: You don't make sense..

Bob: Yo mamma don't make sense!

Bill: No.. She makes dolla

 

Huehuehue

 

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

 

I have another what are those jokes....lots of people have already heard/seen this:
Straight from the head to the feet
bro what are those
you should have kept the receipt

 

This probably doesn't count as an insult.

A shot through the heart, a shot through the head,
now you'll know he's really dead!

 

And you're to blame
You give love a bad name

 

who's that

 

You can't fight me.
You'll get beat from my blows.
But before I knock you out from head to toes.
Tell me WHAT ARE THOSEEEEEE!!!!!!

 

Nub: LOL KID GET GOOD

Me: You know.. if I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb you're ego, and jump to you're IQ

Nub: Wut.

Me: Yep.

 

If your cool, I'm hot.