Dumbest thing your teacher has said to you

We all have seen my post on "Dumbest things you said to your teacher", now lets turn the tables. What are some of the dumbest things you teacher has said to you or the class?

*Btw, this was a substitute. She was old, so she didn't had her memory.*

Teacher: Alright, let me take attendance
*Takes Attendance*
Teacher: Ok Class, did I take attendance?
*Checks Attendance*
Teacher: Ok, I did, now I need to go to the office really quick.
*Goes to office, and leaves her computer on, so a late student came in and changed her record to "Present"*
*Teacher Comes Back*
Teacher: Ok, I am back, let me take attendance!
*Student throws a spitball at her while she checks*
Teacher: Hmmm, looks like a bug landed on me(xD)
*Gets off computer and says*
Teacher: Ok, I am going to make copies of your assignment, be right back.
*A student gets up and erases the attendance*
Teacher: I am back, now, let me check if I took attendance
*Realizes her attendance is gone*
Teacher: Who erased it?
Student: You did you fat f*ck.(She was one of "Those" students who always wanted to annoy the teacher)
Teacher: You are referred to the office!
Teacher: But before I do that, I need to take attendance!

 

xD I have a lot of those so I don't know.

 

My grade 6 teacher called me a flat screen TV. (I was in grade 6... I thought this was extremely offensive for.. reasons)

In grade 7, a girl pushed me down on the playground (I know, so mature for a grade 7) and my new pants got ripped and dusty. I went to the teacher who was supervising during lunch, and explained what happened. All she said was "well those pants don't LOOK new to me..."

In grade 8, I had a horrible teacher for math. During an EXAM, I sneezed. Everyone ignored it except for someone who quietly whispered "bless you".
It wasn't even a loud or obnoxious sneeze. But this teacher thought it was a LAUGH, so he stood up during the exam and gave me a lecture on how I was disrupting the class... uhh.... well that's not hypocritical at all...

 

something similar to uni's ^^^
(this wasn't to me)
In 4th grade, some kid sneezed in the hallway, and someone said bless you. The teacher yells, "DO WE NEED TO TURN BACK? GO PULL A CARD (it was a punishment thing)"

 

My 5th grade teacher called me a retard ;-;

 

Cool. xD

 

Okay this is the most stupidest thing ever haha!!!!

Okay he said what is 9X9 and I said 81 and this bitch tell me I am wrong I literally said... Are you fucking serious in a low voice. That bitch said it was 64 and after 15 fucking minuted he gets it like BRUHH.

 

No... Way... Holy crap same happened to me in fourth grade! Same punishment too! How the hell does that work?!?

It's the simplicity of that insult that is funny.

 

Me: Ms. so and so( don't want to give out names) may I please-

Teacher: Turn your desk around and stop talking.

Me: Turns desk around

Teacher: Alright everyone your homework is on the board.

Me: Turns head to look at board

Teacher: GO TO THE OFFICE I SAID NO TURNING AROUND!

Me: I was just looking at the-

Teacher: YOUR STAYING IN THE OFFICE FOR LUNCH!!

 

"I'll have you know that Science is useful"

 

Oh man another one just happened.

Teacher: Did you know that people from China are coming to America to take our jobs? She said it right in front of two Chinese classmates.

 

(Fifth grade.)
Science teacher: *Leaves the classroom.* No fooling around while I'm gone!
(After she's gone) Students: *Jump on their chairs and start dancing.*
Science teacher: *Walks back in.*
Students: *Don't notice.* *Keep dancing.*
Science teacher: What did I tell you?!
Students: We weren't fooling around while you were gone, we were fooling around while you were here.
Science teacher: Ugh, the children of today.

 

my classmate caught my teacher watching porno in class, sure did he got fired.

 

My math teacher gave me a detention just for dropping my pencil

 

"Math is the most important thing out there"

 

"If you don't get learning we will charge your parents extra cash for you to stay here!"

 

...it is though

For me it was my maths teacher saying "Now that (not giving names) has failed to follow my rules the whole class is staying behind after 3 PM!" seriously, I hate how teachers do that .-.

 

"Yeah, you solved this problem correct, however, this isn't how I would have solved it, 0/20."

 

Me: Does work in class
Teacher: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Me: Work.. What does it look like?
Teacher: GO TO THE BASE FOR THAT ATTITUDE
Me: For a working attitude?

Basically what then happened was we had a large "creative discussion" about her duty as a teacher and mine as a pupil. Also she then threatens me with an exclusion because I was working in class. She was actually sexist. She always claimed that all the males were little s**ts and all the females were angels. When it was really the other way around.

Me: WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME TO THE BASE IF I AM ACTUALLY DOING MY WORK?!
Teacher: I asked you to go to the base because your handwriting is not tidy.
Me: F**k you.
Teacher: I am going to get you removed from the department...
Me: How? It's compulsory I take French this year <Insert Lenny Face Here>
Teacher: Well.... I... UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Put it simple... I won >:D

 

Welcome to history class! George Washington was a great person who never EVER kept slaves. It's just a myth that he had over 300 of them!