Tell me your favorite jokes

It's from that stupid vine 9+10= 21, he just made it 9x10

 

You aren't the only one Jerry

 

forget harry potter take a look at my wand

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Uhm..? Here have a cheesy joke...

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea(r)
:p
Yeah, I suck at these

Oh oh
Your mother's like a hockey player, she showers after 3 periods

Oh, I have troubles turning on the shower.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) It's kinda tragic

 

If you ever get cold just stand at a corner for a bit because it's usually around 90 degrees. :^)

 

My friend told me this, and seeing as everything else here is dirty, I may as well do this too.

Top 10 reasons why Hockey is better than women.

1. In hockey, everyone likes it rough.
2. You only get five minutes for fighting.
3. 'Puck' is not a dirty word.
4. You don't have to play in the neutral zone.
5. It is possible to score a few times in a night.
6. When you 'pull the goalie' nobody gets pregnant.
7. Missing teeth doesn't stop you from scoring.
8. You can always get new wood when your stick breaks.
9. The zamboni gets to clean up the mess.
10. Periods only last 20 minutes.

*Shrugs*

 

Okay, I have a few:
Teacher: Anybody who thinks they are stupid, stand up!
-nobody stands up-
-Little Johny stands up-
Teacher: You think you are stupid?
Little Johny: No, I just felt bad you were standing alone. :(

I was in in the public restroom.
I was barely sitting down, when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions.

Husband (watching a video):
"Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!"
Wife: "Honey, why you so mad? What'aya watching?"
Husband: "Our wedding ceremony."


Unscramble these words!
1.) PNEIS
2.) HTIELR
3.) BUTTSXE
Did you get SPINE, LITHER, and SUBTEXT?

This one's a little.. yeah.

Spoiler: joke

Roses are red,
Nuts are brown,
Skirts go up,
Pants go down,
Body to body ,
Skin to skin,
When it's stiff,
Stick it in,
The longer its in,
The stronger it gets,
It goes in dry,
And comes out wet,
It comes out dripping,
And starts to sag,
It's not what you think......
It's a Teabag.

 

Best two.

Second one is even better.

 

Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning

 

There's 2 fish in a tank. One of them says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

 

jerry and harry's YouTube channel

 

/ban Cloud3y "Joke not funny enough"

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the stupid person's house.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
The chicken!

 

"Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

#Savage

 

can i tell u a short joke, ur hair

hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahha

 

A businessman from Wisconsin and his wife were going on a business trip to Florida. The husband, having left earlier, arrived a few days before her. He immediately checked in with the hotel they had booked, got on his computer, and sent his wife an e-mail.

Unfortunately, he mistyped his wife's e-mail address. Somewhere, in the middle of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away the day prior returned home, and gotten on the computer to check for messages from grieving family. She opened the first message, screamed, and fainted. Her daughter ran into the room, and glanced at the screen, which read;

"Hey honey. I know you're probably surprised to hear from me so soon, but I wanted to let you know that I have just arrived, and that everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. I will be seeing you soon!

P.S. It's sure is hot down here."

Spoiler: A real joke

Person 1: "Hey, ever heard of a guy called PyromancerMagic?"
Person 2: "Yeah, I heard that guy is a real fag who has no friends."
Person 1: "See, it's funny, because it's true! LOL"

Yeah...

Kbai