Corrupt a Wish

Your task is simple:

Grant the wish made by the user above you, while at the same time corrupting it in whatever way you wish to make it different than what the previous user originally intended.

Afterwards, you make your own wish, which in turn will be corrupted by the next user.

For example:

USER A: I wish I had a million dollars.

USER B: Granted. You now have one million dollars.

In monopoly money.

I wish I had a steak.

USER C: Granted. It’s made out of rubber.

I wish Batman was real.

Etc.

I’ll start.

*ahem*

I wish I possessed an army with which I could conquer the world.

 

Granted. It's made of giraffes.

I wish I could be on the moon.

 

Granted. You are now on the moon.
Dead.
I wish I had braces.

 

Granted, made out of Poop


I wish for Zero Monopoly Money

 

Granted. You're now bankrupt on Monopoly.

I wish for nothing :)

 

Granted. You have a monopoly money with 50 zeroes on it (all of which follow a 1)
I wish I had a perfectly normal pampkin pie

Edit- dangit got beaten to the reply

 

Granted. Your pumpkin pie is not cooked, it's a pumpkin... In a pie.

I wish I had doritos

 

Wish granted. They're poisoned :)

I wish for a pony :D

 

Wish granted. It's dead. It ate my doritos...

I wish for the Thieves guild

 

Wish granted but they all steal from you.

I wish for nemo.

 

Granted. Nemo is now lost for good

I wish for nasty food

 

Wish granted. It is so nasty that you throw up all of your vital organs.

I wish for new shoes.

 

Granted. New shoes, but they are worn out badly.

I wish for your death >:3

 

Wish granted. Drank the elixir of life...back again.

I want a life.(not a dead one)

 

Wish granted. You get hit by a bus.

I wish for an infinite supply of cookies c;

 

Wish granted. I give you @Loling. However, Loling is stale c:

I want to have God rank.

 

disgusting
Wish granted. You get the God rank, but the server shuts down the next hour.

I wish I had a money tree. that couldn't die

 

Wish granted. I take away the money tree.

I want a server that can'tshut down

 

Wish Granted. You're banned with absolutely no appeal. You loose fucktard c:

I wish for my own demise.

 

Granted, but you're immortal!

I wish for .... em....