The thing to your right is your only weapon.

I smash a bottle of wine over your head

 

I dump 133,1337,1337 gallons of Red Bull on your head and you drown

 

I smash you with a couch ;)

 

I'm going to run over you with a SUV.

 

I make the SUV eject you into a pool of alligators

 

i kill the alligators with my All new rpg (for defensive reasons i bought it)

 

You don't realize that the bullets do nothing and rebound, and they kill you.

 

For Defensive reasons I said

 

But you said that you killed the alligators.

I open up 1337 wasp nests and thousands of wasps fly out towards you.

 

I smash your head in with a microphone.

 

I beat the crap out of you with my internet router.

 

I slap the internet router with my mouse

 

I throw a Christmas Tree at Enteii.
:)

Plz throw it back!

 

I throw the Christmas tree at you, but it strikes you in the head and you suffer brain damage, and die 3 days later.

 

I need to change to the left side:
Catch the piano!

 

pair of beats headphones
OMG YAAAASSSS

 

I shove my phone down your throat?

 

Uh...
I thrust a notepad into your eye?

 

Stab you with a spoon.

 

Throw my alarm clock at you