As you've probably heard, yesterday the FCC voted to repeal net neutrality, a decision initially proposed by FCC chairman Ajit Pai in April. I decided to make a short story about this matter, to show my personal opinion regarding the repeal. It's a nice story, educational and full of good morals. I hope you enjoy it. Spoiler: E to the Pai I E to the Pai I Ajit stared at his computer monitor, still in his Santa Claus suit, the alcohol dribbling down his fat cheeks and staining it. His eyes were wide open but his consciousness was drifting towards the unknown. The basement was dusty and smelled of rot, most likely due to the child’s corpse hanging from the ceiling fan, though perhaps some of the scent originated from Ajit’s cold sweat. Usually he’d perspire down here because of the intense geothermal heat that was quite apparent half a kilometre beneath the surface, but something else had drowned out that need today. While most of his face was blank and devoid of emotion, the twitching smile on his oily muzzle was not reminiscent of pride. There was something Ajit was hiding. Something darker than this basement, or the child’s corpse, or even the truth about 9/11. In his mind, the very essence of pure desperation was igniting. He grabbed the desk, ready to brace himself, and once the anti-depressants finally wore off, he screamed. Nothing could compare to the bitterness that the Pai contained inside. The horrible sour filling was but a minor annoyance when the saltiness burst out. He cried there, in front of his desktop, begging for everything to end. Moments later, he returned to the monitor and opened up Discord, when he realized how long it could take to load up now that the regulations were cancelled. He slammed his fist onto the desk and resorted to using Skype. It’d be the only other way to contact him. Ajit started the call and waited, tears mingling with the alcohol on his face. When the Transcender finally answered, the vivid fear and terror cocooned the Pai instantly. His voice rang inside Ajit’s head, echoing back and forth, each time more powerfully. The tiny man begged for more help, more directions, more indications. He wanted to know what the Transcender’s instructions were leading up to, what they’d meant. “Time will do its thing,” the Transcender simply replied. “Like usual.” That’s not what Ajit wanted to hear, however. “NO! Answer me!” he screamed in protest, but the spirit simply laughed back. “You have gotten exactly what you wanted, Ajit. More power.” Ajit’s eyes suddenly sprang open as he realized what the Transcender was doing. His blank expression transformed to that of utter shock and disgust. That spirit had promised Ajit the power of influence over the lives of Americans. His fists clenched and his shock converted to anger. “You’ve tricked me!” he shouted into the microphone, raging. “You’re turning me into the Devil! That’s what you’ve been doing all along! You son of a bitch!” The Transcender seemed mildly surprised from his sudden realization, but it was nothing compared to the gasp he gave when the FCC chairman threatened to track him down and terminate him. “You can’t!” he said with horror. Ajit’s mouth curved into a grin. “Oh, can’t I?” “Yes! I’m a spirit! I live in the Complex Plane! If you track me down, your universe could collapse upon itself! Your mediocre realm is not ready for the world I inhabit!” “YOU DARE⁈” screamed Ajit. The Transcender realized that he’d frosted the Pai one too many times, so he tried to cool him down. “Look, Ajit, I’m sorry for tricking you. You can go out there and tell everyone that you regret your decision, and that you wish to bring back net neutrality. Just please, don’t track me down. For your sake.” But it was too late. The Pai was burning with anger. Despite the spirit’s warnings, he pressed the Track button on his Skype governmental add-on. In moments, the room around him began to crumble, bits of dirt falling from the ceiling, the corpse decaying even faster. “WHAT… WHAT’S HAPPENING⁈” he screamed into the microphone. “Are you actually tracking me down⁈” yelled the Transcender back. “I told you, you’re going to destroy your own universe! What have you done, Ajit⁈” After mere seconds, the Earth had already lost all of its velocity and began falling apart in giant chunks of rock and dirt. The oceans splashed into the air, flying around aimlessly. The basement was tumbling upwards at an alarming rate. When it reached the surface, the sun was already light years away, and the sky became utter chaos. Some of the stars in the distance were exploding, others simply shrinking into nothingness. Galaxies collided with each other, traveling around faster than the speed of light. Black holes collapsed upon themselves and released the quasars that revolved around them, creating beams of destruction. Even time itself was starting to get confused. The mortal realm was in its final state of deterioration. There was no going back after attempting to access the Complex Plane. After just a few seconds, which was, in terms of what was left of the realm’s time at that moment, a few millennia, the mortal reality finally gave up and shut down, destroying everything it contained before and leaving behind an infinite line of undefined values. In a fit of rage and anger, the Pai had iced itself. We, too, will be iced, if we won’t stop him.
Nah, it’s gonna be made out of gold (Lol no we’ll just piss on the ice blocks to make it yellow LMAO FOOLED PRANKED XDDDD)
